The "Onion News Network" returns for its second satirical season tonight with a story worthy of its gift for breathlessly hyperbolic, insensitively packaged news: The world, it seems, is coming to an end.
Brooke Alvarez, lead anchor of the show, reports that an asteroid is about to smash into our planet — and even a shuttle crew handpicked by Hollywood screenwriters has failed to stop it. (They include "a single mom, a dancer, and an unemployed steelworker — and three other dreamers with heart.")
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"ONN" promises to address the impending disaster with all the overwhelming graphics, clueless talking heads, and total lack of reflection that its real-life cable news rivals use to cover, well, pretty much everything.
On Monday night, IFC marked ONN's return with a live New York staging of the show that operated under the satiric conceit that viewers could choose whoever they wanted as guests for the end-of-the-world episode — and picked reality stars over the president, scientists, or anyone else.
Ice-T and Coco, stars of E!'s "Ice Loves Coco," provided the night's highlight. They straightfacedly explained to Alvarez that Coco planned to save the world by using her "ass gravity" to draw the asteroid to an object even larger than the earth.
"We're gonna use Coco to correct the trajectory," Ice explained. "Obama didn't think of that!"
You were expecting maybe a giant laser?
"Onion News Network" returns to IFC tonight at 10/9c.