So sometime between yesterday afternoon when I left my newest mind-numbing Temp gig and this morning when I woke up with a fever of 101, Facebook disabled my account.
It appears that Temp X — King of Hollywood and Hero to the Underemployed — was in violation of Facebook's Code of Ethics. I was told as follows …
Facebook does not allow users to register with fake names, to impersonate any person or entity, or to falsely state or otherwise misrepresent themselves or their affiliations.
OK, so now I'm good and pissed.
I spent 14 months getting this operation going (Gross Revenues = $0). I've had many valuable exchanges through my Facebook page. I've helped people out, shared my approximate brand of humor and even gotten a couple of dates out of the whole thing.
And now my account is canceled. Apparently I committed an "egregious violation" by using the fake name Temp X. To that I will admit.
Of course, that got me thinking, "I can't possibly be the only one using a fake name on Facebook, can I?" A quick search of revealed the following people who also use FAKE NAMES on their Facebook profiles…
Winona Ryder (real name: Winona Horowitz)
The Rock (real name: Dwayne Johnson)
Vin Diesel (real name: Mark Sinclair Vincent)
Tom Cruise (real name: Thomas Cruise Mapother IV)
50 Cent (real name: Curtis Jackson)
Busta Rhymes (real name: Trevor Smith)
Alicia Keys (real name: Alicia Augello Cook)
And if I had more time, I'm sure I could find a few hundred more profiles with FAKE NAMES. Mark Zuckerberg and the rest of his Facebook cronies are Hypocrites!! Maybe I don't make $10 million/film, but that doesn't make me any less of a person. [Note: At my current temp rate, I'd have to work 24×7 for more than 71 years to make $10 million.] I will not tolerate this, nor should you. Temps are people, too.
So let us stand up against this selective enforcement and oppression. We are too strong and too numerous to let these events go unnoticed. Please send a note to the Facebook overlords (email@example.com) and/or tell your congressperson of this hideous double standard.
Demand that they either reinstate my account or terminate those of the people listed above. I am only trying to provide a public service and perhaps play a little bit of online Scrabble.
For this is the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, regardless of what Facebook thinks.
Twitter, here I come.