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‘Survivor': Well, at Least Foa Foa’s Good at Something!

Another challenge, another loss, another tribal council blindside.

After last week’s tribal non-vote, the tribes head back to camp, and at Galu Erik is back in his tree — then out of his tree, but not figuratively. The guys talk about bringing Shambo along with them in their male alliance.

At Foa Foa, the tribe is happy that Russell is no longer in the game. Sly Russell is planning to win the next three immunity challenges.

At Galu, the guys now want to nominate Shambo as the chief. That way, Erik says, she’ll be “as deep in my pocket as the lint in the bottom.”

Nice diss, Erik.

The tribe votes, all the guys vote for Shambo and the other three girls are not happy. Shambo’s first act is going to be anything but bossy, she promises, and she rambles on and on. I can see the editors having a long night trying to edit her speech down from what was likely two hours to the 20 seconds shown tonight. Dave calls Shambo “dim.”

At the reward challenge, Shambo says she isn’t surprised to have been elected leader. Maybe she is dim.

Wanna know what they’re playing for? A ride on a sailboat with lunch.

It’s a "Survivor" concentration game again, and it’s as boring as it has been in previous seasons. As hard as Jeff tries to make things interesting with his play-by-play, the challenge draaaags on. Five minutes in, the editors speed up time for us.

Down to the last few points, and Monica matches the eating utensils and Galu wins reward. Shambo sends Laura to Foa Foa, and Laura’s not happy; nor is Kelly, who compares Shambo to someone who was raised in a trailer park and has now married a rich guy and is driving – in her words – a Jaguire.

Laura is at Foa Foa, and the group welcomes her with open arms. Russell and Laura have paired up and seem to be getting along just peachy. Russell also has a plan – he’s wants himself, Laura and Natalie as the final three. He can spot a good Christian anywhere, and Laura calls him her “brutha from anotha mutha,” which comes across as bad as you think it would coming from a white chick.

Galu is thrilled to be on its pirate ship. Did Monica just say “ahoy mateys”? Yup, she did. Dave is looking forward to the booty and the wenchin’. They cheerfully eat their food.

Over at Foa Foa, Laura is telling the girls how much she loves riding her Harleys. Liz isn’t thrilled that Laura and Natalie are bonding over their love of their faith in books and the book of the month club. Russell wants Natalie to be his little toy so he can manipulate her little mind. My wife and I come to the conclusion that Russell is both racist and sexist.

Time for the immunity challenge and Foa Foa has left its leadership necklace back at camp in case it was a bad omen. Survivors ready? Go! It’s a fishing challenge where you must hook puzzle pieces with a fishing rod.

Foa Foa gets off to a big lead but Galu catches up. Working on the puzzle, the tribes seem to be neck and neck. But once again, Galu wins immunity. Jeff tells Mick that it wasn’t the necklace bringing bad luck. Before commercial, Russell calls his tribe idiots, and complainsthat they’re going to cost him a million dollars.

Back at camp, our subwoofer is kicking into high gear, which must mean something ominous is about to happen (or not). Russell says about Jaison the law student: “He sure isn’t going to be my attorney.” Jaison does admit to being embarrassed of his performance and calls himself dead weight.

Russell and Liz speak of the possibility that Jaison could go home. Natalie is the eye candy of the show, and thankfully it doesn’t look like she’s going home tonight.

At tribal, Jeff calls Foa Foa one of the worst performing tribes in the history of the game. The five members are still holding on to the fact that at least they have trust between them. Russell promises that as soon as the merge happens things are going to change.

It’s time to vote.

Somehow, Liz is voted out – unanimously.

“You’re getting really good at blindsides,” Jeff tells the tribe.

Next week, the tribes merge and Russell promises things are going to get crazy.

Mark Stone is a freelance entertainment writer living in Kelowna, BC, Canada. He is the managing editor of DailyBrainCandy.com and author of "Behind the Screen: Hacking Hollywood."