A good man is hard to find. That’s why I use my favorite TV shows to help me find the kind of men I’d like to marry – and then divorce.
1. Jack Donaghy, "30 Rock": Because not only is he Liz Lemon’s charismatic boss, he also knows his way around microwave oven programming, the Sheinhart wig company and he’s the next Don Geiss. Also the only Republican I’d sleep with – so of course he’s fictional.
Reason for divorce: His ex-flame Condi Rice won’t stop calling him.
2. Don Draper, "Mad Men": Because as an ad man extraordinaire, he can sell me anything and nothing attracts a gal more than an emotionally unavailable, drunk hunk of a man.
Reason for divorce: Countless other women and his general reluctance to come home.
3. Rick Castle, "Castle": Because I love a handsome author who makes me laugh and charms the pants off me with the written word.
Reason for divorce: He’s obsessed with a pretty detective named Beckett.
4. Chuck Bartowski, "Chuck": Because he’s everyone’s favorite TV geek, and sometimes a spy who’s unable to kill other people is a good thing.
Reason for divorce: I would inevitably have an affair with John Casey because his strong, silent thing is irresistible.
5. Raylan Givens, "Justified": Because he shoots first and asks questions later. Plus he’s sex on a stick and makes a wifebeater and jeans look like a redneck tuxedo.
Reason for divorce: A man with anger issues is fun for a while (angry sex), but then it’s just sad.
6. Damon Salvatore, "The Vampire Diaries": Because I wanna bite him. Repeatedly.
Reason for divorce: His many girlfriends from centuries past, plus he’s taken carrying a torch for that chick named Katherine to a new extreme.
7. Rob Petrie, "The Dick Van Dyke Show": Because I love a guy who will trip over the ottoman and hold impromptu variety shows in my living room.
Reason for divorce: I will tire of wearing capri pants and learning new dance routines.
8. Peter Burke, "White Collar": Because he makes being a federal agent quietly sexy and proves that the man in the white hat can be just as sexy as the one in the black hat.
Reason for divorce: The man has no apparent faults and that will drive me nuts within a year.
9. Jeff Winger, "Community": Because beneath the snark lies … more snark.
Reason for divorce: Extreme snark.
10. Franco, "Rescue Me": Hey, I’m only human. Chicks dig firemen.
Reason for divorce: One of his co-workers will attract my wandering eye: either the rakish alcoholic Tommy Gavin or the deliciously dense Mike Silletti (formerly known as Probie).
(This blog appeared first on Clicker.com.)
