Future U.S. president Jay-Z changed the lyrics of the anthem "99 Problems" at an Ohio rally for President Obama to substitute the word "bitch" with the word "Mitt."
He also demonstrated his political savvy by very carefully distancing the Obama campaign from the decision to replace the word "girl" with the word "world" and the word "bitch" with the word "Mitt" in the hook, "If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for ya son, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one."
The rapper, real name Shawn Carter, made clear that he had not cleared the decision with anyone, and joked that the Secret Service might tackle him.
I'm sorry, what? Oh yes: I did say "future U.S. president Jay-Z." It's not the craziest thing you've ever heard. Did anyone think when Shawn Carter was talking about selling cocaine in 1995 that he would eventually be performing at a campaign rally for the president of the United States? And have you noticed all the great philanthropy he's doing lately? And he's cleaning up the lyrics to his old songs? Just you watch.
"99 Problems" has always been one of the most widely interpretable Jay-Z songs. A cursory reading of that chorus makes it sound like a he-man-woman-hater's club kind of song that high school boys might blast while driving past the girls who dumped them. But is it really anti-woman? Or pro-Beyonce? He recorded it about the time he started to settle down with his future wife and leave silly games behind.
And many of the "bitches" referred to in the song refer to men — or in one case, an actual female dog. The nominee will patiently explain all this much better than we ever could at his 2024 presidential debate with Republican nomineee Kid Rock, who performed at a Romney rally in New Hampshire Monday.
One more change in the new version of the song: The original refers to being pulled over by police "'cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low." The new version talks about his "hoodie" being real low.
Huh, wonder what that's about.
Watch the revised "99 Problems" and file your 99 complaints in the comments below.