LaVar Ball is mighty full of himself, which makes the caricature of a man a perfect character for “SNL’s” “Weekend Update.”

On Thursday’s “Summer Edition” of the fake news program (not to be confused with a “fake-news” program), the father of Lonzo Ball boasted about his impressive attributes and abilities.

“I am 8-feet-tall, I can jump 20-feet-high,” Kenan Thompson’s LaVar Ball told host Colin Jost. “I once jumped over a Super Target. This past Thanksgiving, I ate 100 turkeys.”

Also Read: Bill Hader Surprises as Anthony Scaramucci on SNL's 'Weekend Update Summer Edition'

He then broke out the new $495 Big Baller Brand sneakers, which are apparently “made out of South-African rhinosocerous horn.”

“They help you run faster, jump higher, and keep your willy hard as glass,” Thompson said.

Per faux-LaVar Ball, the kicks will also hand his NBA rookie son the regular season MVP Award, Finals MVP, an ESPY, a Grammy, a Purple Heart, and even Best Truck in his class from J.D. Power and Associates. Those empty guarantees led Jost to dub LaVar Ball “Black Trump.”

Also Read: Jill Soloway Cites 'SNL' Sketch 'It's Pat' as 'Awful Piece of Anti-Trans Propaganda'

Watch the video above.

'Will & Grace' Revival to Actor Mixup: 7 Things We Learned at TCA and 7 Unsolved Mysteries (Photos)

We learned a lot over the last two-plus weeks at the Television Critics Association Summer Press Tour -- but TheWrap is still left with a few unanswered questions. Here's a sampling of the information that was revealed, along with some things we're still trying to figure out.

Also Read: ‘Celebrity Family Feud’ and ‘$100,000 Pyramid’ Renewed by ABC
Learned: "Will & Grace" Is Here to Stay!... Though the Finale Never Happened
NBC has already renewed its revived "Will & Grace" for a second season, executives announced at TCA. They also ordered four extra episodes for this fall, and assured us that original ending doesn't count anymore.

Also Read: ‘The Middle’ Star Patricia Heaton on End of Show Amid Trump Era: ‘Our Timing Really Sucks’
NBC
Dunno: How "Bachelor in Paradise" Will Address Sex Scandal
The "Bachelor in Paradise" season that almost didn't happen debuts in less than a week, though ABC execs have remained mum on what actually happened on set, as well as how the show will tackle the subject.

Also Read: ‘Inhumans’ Star Defends Medusa Wig: ‘If We Only Did Things That Were Perfect, We Would Never Start’
ABC
Learned: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Malcolm-Jamal Warner Are Different People
Yes, they're both black men. They're both on ABC's "Ten Days in the Valley." No, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is not Malcolm-Jamal Warner, lady. See what we mean here.

Also Read: ‘Kevin Probably Saves the World’ Creator, Star Try to Explain Away ‘Magical Negro’ Trope
Dunno: When the Hell is "Rent" Due?
Fox announced plans in May to adapt "Rent" for its next live TV musical, but that thing sounds like it's now pushing up against 2019. As of Tuesday, the event is still without a director or cast, network co-chief Dana Walden told reporters.

Also Read: FX’s John Landgraf Says Apple Won’t Be a Competitor: ‘We Can’t Do What They Do’
Getty
Learned: Why "Star Trek: Discovery" Lead Has a Male Name
Bryan Fuller has himself a bit of a calling card: female leads with male names. Though Fuller has exited the CBS All Access flagship show, his tradition lives on.

Also Read: Daniel Dae Kim Says ‘Hawaii Five-0’ Exit Was a Matter of ‘Self-Worth’
CBS
Dunno: How Much IMAX Tickets for "Inhumans" Will Cost
"Inhumans" will premiere Sept. 1 in IMAX theaters, though Marvel couldn't tell us how much tickets will cost. An IMAX spokesperson pointed us to exhibitors, who actually set the prices. Either way, a longer version of the same two episodes premieres Sept. 29 on ABC, and that's free for anyone with an antenna. You figure it out.

Also Read: Tim Allen’s Politics Had ‘Absolutely Nothing’ to Do With ‘Last Man Standing’ Cancellation, ABC Says
ABC
Learned: "Inhumans" Is Not Ready for Primetime
The "Inhumans" trailer got more guffaws than cheers when it debuted at Comic-Con, which can mostly be attributed to Medusa's terrible CGI wig. ABC and Marvel both say effects aren't finished yet, but we'll see about that.

Also Read: ‘Celebrity Family Feud’ and ‘$100,000 Pyramid’ Renewed by ABC
ABC
Dunno: If Johnny Galecki Will Return for "Roseanne"
Pretty much the entire original cast of "Roseanne" is coming back for the continuation. The lone holdout is Johnny Galecki, who must be looking for that "Big Bang Theory" money. And ABC is looking for those ratings, John.

Also Read: Inside the 2017 TCA Awards: Host Kristin Chenoweth Charms, Sings Duet With Sterling K Brown
ABC
Learned: CBS Still CBS-ing
CBS' fall linear lineup contains no new female-led series, which by now feels like an annual criticism of America's Most-Watched Network. Plus, "Kevin Can Wait" is pretty much turning into "The King of Queens" by killing off Kevin James' current TV wife in favor of the old one, Leah Remini. The more things change...

Also Read: TCA Awards: The Complete Winners List
CBS
Dunno: If the "Downton Abbey" Movie Will Ever Happen
During a panel for Sundance Channel's "Liar," "Downton Abbey" alum Joanne Froggatt was asked for an update on the Masterpiece series' planned film sequel. She had no clue as to what's going on, and so now neither do we.

Also Read: Jill Soloway Cites ‘SNL’ Sketch ‘It’s Pat’ as ‘Awful Piece of Anti-Trans Propaganda’
Masterpiece
Learned: "Most White People Are Related"
Turns out Bernie Sanders and Larry David ARE actually related -- who knew? Well, maybe "SNL." Even weirder, married couple Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon recently found out they're cousins. Let's stop looking into family trees immediately.

Also Read: Steve Harvey on Infamous Closed-Door Memo: ‘I’m Not Really a Mean-Spirited Guy’
Getty
Dunno: How Many People Think YouTube Red Is a Porn Site
YouPorn is a popular adult video hub website. So is RedTube. YouTube Red is not a pornography video channel, it’s YouTube’s ad-supported video on demand (AVOD) offering. That can get confusing, though to what extent, Susanne Daniels does not know.

Also Read: ‘Will & Grace’ Creators Throw Shade at Former NBC Exec Jeff Zucker
Learned: Sterling K. Brown Can Sing!
On Saturday, TCA Awards host Kristin Chenoweth called on audience member and nominee Sterling K. Brown to join her on stage for a "Wicked" duet. Wicked, it was -- the "This Is Us" star can blow, and it blew the crowd away.

Also Read: ‘Timeless’ Fan Outcry Was ‘Smaller Than You Think,’ NBC Execs Say
Getty
Dunno: Netflix TV Ratings
Netflix bailed on this past Winter TCA, it hid from the Summer TCA. And we still don't know how many viewers are watching their programming, though actual participant Nielsen teased that all this caginess may soon change.

Also Read: How NFL Football Brought ‘This Is Us’ Back to NBC Tuesdays
Netflix
The fall TV season technically starts on Sept. 25 -- by then, hopefully we'll have even more answers before your favorite show returns (and the new ones trying to replace it debut).

Also Read: NBC Chairman Defends Jimmy Fallon Amid Ratings Decline: No Concern ‘Whatsoever’

1 of 16

Get TheWrap’s Fall TV download and probe into unanswered questions

We learned a lot over the last two-plus weeks at the Television Critics Association Summer Press Tour -- but TheWrap is still left with a few unanswered questions. Here's a sampling of the information that was revealed, along with some things we're still trying to figure out.

Also Read: ‘Celebrity Family Feud’ and ‘$100,000 Pyramid’ Renewed by ABC

View In Gallery

‘Weekend Update: Summer Edition’ – Kenan Thompson’s LaVar Ball Is ‘Black Trump’ (Video)

'Will & Grace' Revival to Actor Mixup: 7 Things We Learned at TCA and 7 Unsolved Mysteries (Photos)

‘Aquaman’ Film Review: James Wan’s Outrageous Underwater Epic Rewrites the Superhero Rules

Ellen Pompeo Calls Out ‘Today’ Headline: ‘Lay off the Booze and Pay Attention to the Real Conversation’

‘Big Bang Theory’ Star Johnny Galecki Shares a Skin-Pounding Moment With Rick Springfield (Video)

SAG Awards Nominees: The Complete List

William Shatner Sets Tweeters to Stunned With ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ Defense

'Will & Grace' Revival to Actor Mixup: 7 Things We Learned at TCA and 7 Unsolved Mysteries (Photos)

Related Content