How do you prefer your Charlie Sheen: getting whacked quickly, or killed by zingers and raunchy reminders of every crazy thing he's ever said and done?
Thanks to tonight's primetime lineup, you don't have to choose. Sheen's Charlie Harper officially is expected to bite the dust on the ninth season premiere of "Two and a Half Men' (9 p.m., CBS) Then Sheen will be "honored" by his Hollywood cohorts on Comedy Central's 'Roast of Charlie Sheen' (at 10).
Sheen's "Men" also marks the introduction of Ashton Kutcher as heartbroken billionaire Walden Schmidt, who replaces Harper in the lives of the other one and a half dudes.
As for the roast, Sheen's endlessly documented crazy year — the firing, the Twitter rants, the lawsuits, the breakup, the custody battle, the Goddesses — has mostly been self-inflicted, a fact that certainly doesn't go unchecked by roast host Seth MacFarlane, or roasters including William Shatner, Steve-O, Mike Tyson, and, of course, the "Roastmaster General," comedian Jeffrey Ross.
The big question about tonight's Sheen-a-palooza: which will be funnier?