Colbert: Trump Campaign Collusion ‘Only a Crime If You Enforce the Laws of the United States’

In his opening monologue, Stephen Colbert also goofed on testimony in the trial against former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort

Last Updated: August 7, 2018 @ 10:39 PM

Stephen Colbert continued to mock Donald Trump on “The Late Show” for his tweets that acknowledged his son, Donald Trump Jr., met with a Russian official to get information on Hillary Clinton.

“The president is still dealing with the fallout from his disastrous Twitter confession that his campaign colluded with the Russians in Trump Tower, when he admitted that the meeting was about getting dirt on Hillary Clinton from the Russians — which, I know, is only a crime if you enforce the laws of the United States,” Colbert joked in his monologue Tuesday.

Trump tweeted Sunday about the 2016 meeting in Trump Tower, which the administration originally said was about Russian adoption. Trump said in his tweets that the meeting was to get information that could hurt Clinton in the 2016 presidential election.

As the audience applauded, Colbert chanted, “Law and order! Law and order!”

“Trump’s lawyers weren’t happy about this confession and now the president is being urged to stop tweeting on the Trump Tower meeting,” Colbert continued. “Little late! That’s like saying, ‘I’ve got to warn President Lincoln — you know what, it can wait till after the play.’ “

Watch the video above.

Earlier in the monologue, Colbert wished Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller’s birthday, before running down the gifts of Mueller was getting from testimony in the trial of former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort.

“I just want to start off tonight by saying happy birthday Robert Mueller,” Colbert said. “Listen, blow out the candles and make our wish. Mueller celebrated today by hammering former top campaign manager and discount cologne ad Paul Manafort. Manafort is getting buried on the witness stand by his long-time partner and self-published mystery novelist Rick Gates.”

Citing the Washington Post, Colbert read the prosecution’s questions for Gates and his stark answers.

“Were you involved with any criminal activity with Mr. Manafort? ‘Yes.’ Did you commit any crimes with Mr. Manafort? ‘Yes.'”

Colbert said he didn’t think his reading of Gates’ testimony was really getting the feeling across, so he played a clip of the court reporter reading Gates’ answers — which turned out to be a clip from the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” in which Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in a restaurant.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Colbert said, quoting the movie.

“It gets better,” he continued, “because Gates admitted on the stand that he stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from Manafort. He’s not only did crimes with Manafort, but he did crimes at Manafort and on Manafort.”

Moving ahead in the testimony, Colbert brought up how the defense’s questioning seemed to take things in an almost TV courtroom drama direction.

“When the defense attorney, Kevin Downing, cross-examined Gates, things got real ‘Law and Order’-y,” he said, then quoted the Washington Post’s transcription of Downing’s words. “‘There was another Richard Gates, isn’t that right? he asked. A secret Richard Gates?’

“Man, if the public Richard Gates is this crooked, I can only imagine what kind of crimes the secret Richard Dates did,” Colbert joked. “I’m gonna guess, uh, ‘dolphin arson.’ “

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