Tiffany Haddish became the first Black woman standup comedian to host “SNL” during this week’s episode, and she spent her monologue talking about the success of her recent movie, “Girls Trip.”
“This movie made history,” Haddish said. “It made $100 million plus — and I’m trying to figure out, where is my cut of that money, because I haven’t seen it at all yet. And all my friends are telling me, ‘Tiffany, you’re big time, you’re a star now, you’re ballin’ out of control.’ And I’m looking at my bank account like, ‘Uh-uh.’”
You can watch the monologue in the video above.
“They said Google yourself, so I Googled myself: ‘Tiffany Haddish celebrity net worth,’” she continued. “And it said I was worth $2 million, y’all. But I ain’t seen this money. Where is this $2 million? What do I have to do to get this $2 million? Do I need to fake my death? Do I gotta Tupac this and move to Tyler Perry Island? You all know Tyler Perry’s got an island, right?”
Haddish also joked about her childhood, during which she said “SNL” was her favorite TV show.
“But honestly, though, before I was in ‘Girls Trip,’ I grew up in foster care,” Haddish explained. “I just want to say thank you to anyone who paid taxes between 1990 and 1999, because if you wouldn’t have paid your taxes, I wouldn’t be standing here today.
“I lived in a lot of group homes, and my favorite show growing up was ‘SNL,’” she continued. “That’s my favorite show. And you have no idea how difficult it is to get a bunch of Black and Hispanic kids to watch ‘SNL’ over ‘In Living Color,’ okay? Trying to convince them that Dana Carvey is just as funny as Damon Wayans was a problem. I got stabbed twice, y’all. In a bunk bed. I don’t mess with bunk beds to this day, I don’t mess with them. They scare me.”
Haddish said that “SNL” suggested she tackle topical, political topics in her monologue, but she’s not much of one for following current events.
“I don’t really pay attention to the news,” Haddish said. “All my news comes from the beauty shop. When I get my hair done, I find out what’s going on in the world. We’ve been talking about a lot of different stuff. They were talking about, in the beauty shop just the other day, about Donald Trump. And we were saying, ‘Dang, who is doing Donald Trump’s wigs? His lace fronts are off the chain! His hair is looking so good since he became the president. What kind of glue is he using, because when the wind blows, it doesn’t even move or nothing. That’s good hair right there.’”