Even though Speidi is long gone, they are still milking the publicity they earned from appearing (and/or leaving) “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!” (Perhaps the plan all along?) When they appeared on “The View” yesterday, Heidi was actually spraying that damn dry shampoo during the interview!
Seriously. Check out the clips to see Whoopi telling them to get their act together before they end up on the streets.
In other news, once again this week, Denise Richards proved that it’s really not that “complicated,” and Kendra whored it up in an adorable way. Our girl Kathy Griffin continued to kiss A-list ass by bombarding Lily Tomlin with her questions on how to be a “proper famous person.” Gold!
The “Jon & Kate” US Weekly consecutive cover count is up to six now, reaching Brangelina proportions. On the actual show, Jon got a custom bike built, and “American Chopper” synergystically got a full one-hour show out of it.
In the wake of Speidi’s departure, Janice Dickinson has taken over the drama reigns on “I’m a Celebrity."
On Thursday’s show, superstar Sanjaya beat out his flirting partner, Holly Montag, to garner a Mexican feast for his male teammates in the grocery-cart-on-a-tightrope challenge. There was much talk about the “love connection” between the two, but as a woman who has had many a crush on men of “questionable” sexual orientation, all I can do is wish her luck with that.
Janice talked a lot about Janice and about also Janice having sex with Stallone. I’m not sure why her competitors were so surprised by that. Seriously, have they never watched “America’s Next Top Model,” “The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency” or “The Surreal Life?"
As the celebrities talked about their big breaks, Patti Blagojevich asserted that she was not a celebrity but simply a member of a family who had built a nice life for itself. Apparently you can build a nice life for yourself and still be a good person even if you build the nice life under questionable circumstances.
Unfortunately, Daniel Baldwin was the next celebrity to leave. As his departure was announced, Janice could be heard in the background shouting out Perez Hilton’s name along with “say no to Prop 8.” I’m all for gay rights but … huh?
On last night’s show, Torrie and Sanjaya went head-to-head in a food trial, with Sanjaya winning. He is way more of a star in the jungle than he’s ever been in the entertainment industry. Can we just vote to keep him there?
Then there was a — gasp! — SNAKE in the jungle! IN THE JUNGLE! I KNOW! It’s shocking. Thankfully, some “ninjas” came in and took care of the situation, swiftly and quietly. (That’s how ninjas operate.)
A scroll came into camp, saying that a new camp leader must be chosen, as “Papa Lou” Diamond Phillips could not have a third term. Instead of being based on leadership skills, though, the trial was based on something called “jungle trivia,” which was basically like “The Newlywed Game” meets, uh, “the jungle.”
John Salley was named the leader and, as his first order of business, he requested a daily “Janice quiet time.” He was also awarded photos of his family, whom he last saw a like, a full two weeks ago.
While Lou’s tenure was full of fatherly advice and solving (mainly Janice-based) problems, John’s will, no doubt, be quite different and (hopefully) more dramatic.
After all, how can the leader calm down the cursing out-of-control basketballer when he is the cursing, out-of-control basketballer?
