Whether you know them from The Disney Channel, Missy Elliott music videos or any of their dozens of other projects, Alyson Stoner’s memoir “Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything” promises to be a tell-all unlike any other. And that’s by design.
“If you’ve noticed, there have been a series of memoirs and documentaries that are sharing very similar downward spirals and challenges of young performers – not just in the industry, but also kids now being posted online, as well as young athletes, young academics, any kind of high-performing children pipeline,” they told TheWrap of the motivation behind their book. “But I’ve noticed that no one has unpacked why this happens, the ecosystem that enables it and what opportunities there are to intervene to prevent this kind of measurable harm.”
“I recognized that I had the opportunity to finally share very personal, lived experiences; all the juicy details from what happened on sets growing up. But I’m also a mental health practitioner now and I wanted to connect new dots for people across media, culture, child development and the industry and then bring it into today’s landscape: the digital world,” Stoner explained. “Experiences that were once reserved for entertainers are now actually being faced and experienced by everyone; anyone with a Wi-Fi connection and a social media profile is contending with issues of privacy, safety, parasocial relationships, the mental health effects of tech use – and overuse, for some of us. So, I knew that people might be drawn to understanding or learning about my childhood experiences, but I hope they stay for the cultural critique and the larger opportunities for deep reflection and conversation.”
Indeed, Stoner’s childhood experiences included roles in “Camp Rock,” “Cheaper by the Dozen,” “Step Up,” “Mike’s Super Short Show,” “The Suite Life of Zack & Cody” and even the “Ellen” pilot, amongst many others. Nowadays, in addition to being an author, Stoner is the founder and CEO of mental health company Movement Genius, host of their award-winning “Dear Hollywood” podcast and a certified mental health coordinator for Hollywood productions.
“I selected moments that felt key to my personal development and key for audiences to have a window into the industry ecosystem. The first draft contained absolutely everything. I knew some things would be omitted. However, a lot of the details remained in the book, including names,” they recalled. “That was a very complex decision-making process, but many of the people who are named have also come forward and shared their sides of the story, so I wasn’t interested in countering the narrative or controlling the narrative, but moreso offering more information to round out the assessment of these situations. I’m unclear on what the consequences of my freedom of speech will be, but I did make an effort to contact everyone in the book and provide some context so there aren’t any surprises. I support everyone speaking their truth, I just have to make sure that I’m including myself within that ‘everyone,’ something I haven’t done until now.”
“This genre of memoir often is about proving one’s ability to overcome, highlighting resilience. While those absolutely are valid and valuable aspects of one’s story to share, I needed to commit to a level of honesty and detail that pierced through the illusion. I think audiences deserve this information, and once they have more information they might actually start reflecting on their own media consumption habits; they might shift what kinds of productions they support,” Stoner shared. “I’m also thinking about the impact of consuming material with really challenging themes all the time, that can actually be quite activating for people in ways that we’re not following up on … In fact, this memoir, for me, feels a bit like a mic drop, and I don’t know what will come after. I can’t tell if I’m pushing too far past the edge, or if it’s kissing the edge just strategically enough that I can support the industry and make shifts while also living in this empowered, honest life.”
As “Semi-Well-Adjusted” details, Stoner has shared their story a bit in the past — including on “Camp Rock” co-star Demi Lovato’s Hulu documentary, “Child Star.” However, there isn’t one all-encompassing solution to make sure today’s kids fair better than their predecessors.
“No single person can be an expert in every sector, and people in the industry are typically brilliant with storytelling and/or scaling companies; very few are also trauma therapists and child development experts,” Stoner said. “I stand at a unique intersection and I want to hold the middle and see how I can get folks from all sides to speak to each other so that we can think more holistically about the spaces we’re designing and what we’re asking of children.”
“It’s an interesting tension,” they added of how fans come into play. “We’re in this dynamic together, and I think there’s room for us to reconfigure a bit. I don’t know exactly what that looks like, but it’s going to take everyone stationed across the ecosystem to examine what we’re doing.”
Luckily, for Stoner, one gig that has remained “a unique bright spot” in their career is voicing Isabella on “Phineas and Ferb.”
“It speaks volumes to the creators and the cast. I also think there’s a different embodied experience as a voice actor, the community is different and I’m actually overjoyed that I get to play the same character as an adult, because I can now make more-informed creative decisions. I can sprinkle in different emotional dimensions to Isabella’s scenes. At the moment, it’s the degree to which I want to be involved in the industry,” they admitted. “I get to have a foot in the door, but it’s just my voice with a cast and crew who feel like family, and then the rest of my time is supporting productions as a coordinator. That kind of balance is working well for this season. Some of my artist friends are trying to drag me back into the industry, but at the moment, my body feels most invigorated by policy, political advocacy and being a coordinator to support them.”
Plus, “Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything” has something for everyone — including aspiring stage parents.
“I would certainly encourage people to either read this book or do some serious information-gathering before committing to pursuing the industry. Especially parents of and guardians of young ones,” Stoner said. “I think the book actually explores so many sub-themes, including faith and belief systems and queerness and financial stability and family dynamics, that anyone can find themselves in the story.”
“I do hope that people in the industry spread the word about it. I’d be really curious to see how some of the people I’ve worked with since childhood are responding to this material,” they continued. “From what I’ve shared so far on my ‘Dear Hollywood’ podcast, it seems to have surprised a lot of the adults I worked with who somehow did not know any of this information, yet they’ve been working with children for decades. So I’m looking forward to having conversations with the people who are still in the industry.”
Ultimately, as the book’s title suggests, Stoner is living a semi-well-adjusted life, and they want to pay it forward.
“I observe Hollywood as an industry that was established by adults, for adults, and therefore a lot of the environment was not designed around developmentally appropriate experiences for children,” the author noted. “Largely, I noticed that parents, guardians, casting directors, industry professionals are well-meaning; they want to support young people in pursuing their dreams and/or skills that they seem to have some knack for early on. What’s missing is that we haven’t updated the industry to match what we now know about child development, traumatizing experiences and the commodification of children in mass media and online.”
“So my relationship to the industry now is: we know better, let’s do better. That’s why my focus was on getting several certifications and becoming a mental health coordinator, which is so exciting,” Stoner concluded. “As the book launches, I will officially be able to support film, TV, theater, productions and audiences with bringing stories to life in deeply compelling ways that are also ethical, and to see production companies starting to respond to this as if it’s an obvious oversight that they want to correct is really heartening.”
“Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything” is out now.
