America Gets It Right (Caw!)

After the obligatory chitchat with the judges and a contractual Ford music video, Seacrest mentions that since the theme was “popular music,” the Idols were going to sing — what else? — “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey because, apparently, it is one of the most “popular” downloads on iTunes. 

That. Is. So. weird. The same song is also featured in a trailer for the upcoming Fox show, “Glee!” And “American Idol” is on the Fox network, too! Weird coincidence.

These group performances are quickly becoming my very favorite part of the show.  As talented as the majority of these kids are, not one of them has yet mastered the art of lip-syncing.  Scott MacIntyre, bless his heart, was the worst offender.  Not only was he wedged behind the ivories yet again, but his microphone was about a foot and a half away from his mouth during his big solo. 

We got a glimpse of life behind the scenes. The photogs want Kris’ “sexy” face! So do the girls in the audience, who shreik madly. Other important note: Scott’s rider includes quadruple chocolate cake!

Apparently much of their downtime is spent impersonating each other.  Matt and Allison do Gokey, Gokey does Matt, and Anoop does Kris. Can they really like each other this much?

Seacrest summoned the Idols to center stage in groups of three — Megan, Kris and Matt; Allison, Glambert and Lil; Scott, Gokey and Anoop. Which group is the Bottom Three? Who’s safe? Puh-leaze, did you think they’d reveal it before the halfway mark?  Nothing can be revealed until we plug David Cook’s platinum album!

You guessed it, Cook then performed the new single from his platinum album.  And, in case you didn’t know that “Idol” has produced legitimate superstars, Seacrest had some random girls present Cook with the actual platinum album … Did I mention that it was platinum?

At this rate, what kind of former "Idol" guest performers do they have left?  They’ve already brought out the big guns — Clarkson, Cook and Underwood.  Well, Kellie Pickler does have a new single (and a new “enhanced” face). Or maybe they could bring back Taylor Hicks for “bad dancing” week.

Seacrest directed the attention back to the Idols.  Kris and Matt were safe, though Seacrest pulled an cruel April Fool’s joke on Matt by making him think he was in the Bottom Three. Not that funny, considering Giraud’s lackluster performance on Tuesday. 

Ryan told Megan that she was in the Bottom Three, and in a bizarre tribute to her infamous “Rockin’ Robin” performance, she “Caw! Caw!” ‘d her way over to the dreaded seats. It was like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Seriously, ya’ll.

As for the good singers, Glambert, Lil and Gokey were safe, but power rocker Allison was not. How could this happen? Am I the only one who finds Lil more than a “lil” boring? Allison needs a publicity stunt and stat!

It came down to either Anoop or Scott to complete the Bottom Three.  America voted Scott through, miraculously.  When will they learn that overcoming physical challenges does not necessarily translate into hit records?  Ugh.

Lady Gaga performed in some sort of Fosse/”Clockwork Orange” getup.  There were lots of bubbles and smoke and then a kind of “Devil Went Down to Georgia” dance break.  Either that or an exorcism; all I know was that it seemed to have something to do with Lucifer. Scary.

After the demons were all out, Seacrest sent Allison back to safety.  It came down to Megan and Anoop.  Looks like Vote for the Worst’s efforts have not been enough.  Megan got the boot. What was that she said to Anoop? It was either “Don’t forget to call” or “Don’t forget to CAW.”  I smell trademark.

Ouch. Simon didn’t even pretend to consider saving her.  Nonetheless, Megan was given the opportunity — lucky us — to rehash her Bob Marley song, complete with dance moves reminiscent of Elaine on “Seinfeld.”

Well, America finally got it right, even though Corkrey’s awkward performances will be missed.  And who will Vote for the Worst back now? Their website promises to choose an heir to Corkrey’s crown in the next few days. 


Let’s hope it’s Scott.