Stephen Colbert ended his 2020 Election Night special on Showtime with more optimism than most viewers might expect — and might be feeling.
“Well, folks, it looks like we’ve reached the end of the show and we still don’t know who won,” Colbert began his Tuesday night sign-off segment. “We’ve been waiting for this for so long it’s like Christmas Eve — not just because of the judgmental fat guy with the red hat. But because we’re all up late wondering if tomorrow morning we’re going to get the present we’ve been begging for: a boring president.”
“My blood pressure is within normal range…for a truck tire,” he quipped.
“It’s actually a good thing we don’t know who won yet,” Colbert said of the too-close-to-call showdown between incumbent Republican president Donald Trump and Democratic challenger Joe Biden. “The truth is, the reason it’s taking so long to declare a winner is because we’ve had such a massive voter turnout.”
“The point is, this year, millions of you braved the pandemic, an army of poll watchers — even the post office, just to make sure you got to vote,” he continued. “Each and every one of those ballots deserve to be counted.”
“We’ve been able to wait for this moment since November of 2016,” Colbert said. “So, I know we’ve all got what it takes to wait just a little bit longer.”
Stephen Colbert, the host of CBS’ “Late Show,” (CBS and Showtime share a parent company in ViacomCBS) then rolled a montage of “Things That Feel as Satisfying as You Want This To,” including a Tetris, Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) washing off in the pouring rain following his Shawshank Prison escape, Ironman (Robert Downey Jr.) snapping “Avengers” villain Thanos (Josh Brolin) into dust.
Pretty satisfying stuff, but not a suitable substitute.
Watch the video above.