Queen Elizabeth Enlists ‘Bob the Builder’ to Fix the British Monarchy in Colbert Cold Open (Video)

It’s a full gut job

Last Updated: March 9, 2021 @ 7:43 AM

You can just tell that Oprah Winfrey’s CBS interview of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry has Buckingham Palace shook. On Monday, Stephen Colbert’s cold open saw Queen Elizabeth II attempt to enlist the British “Bob the Builder” gang to “fix” the British monarchy.

Good luck with that, chap. Gonna need some much, much different tools than what you’ve got in that belt.

“I have a special project for you today,” the superimposed Queen Elizabeth II says to Bob in the masterfully edited footage from the kids’ stop motion series. “The British monarchy: can you fix it?”

“Uhhh, fix what?” Bob asks.

“You know: fix the systemic racism, the nepotism, the inbreeding and, let’s say, Andrew,” her majesty replies. “Bob, can you fix it?”

Bob punted that loaded question to his team of heavy-load machinery. No one seemed confident in tackling the enormous task.

“Fine, I’ll just burn the whole thing down and collect the insurance money,” Prince Harry’s grandmother says.

Good call.

Colbert’s (fake) episode of “Bob the Builder” was titled “Royal Pains.” That was a perfect title considering USA Network aired a show of the same name from 2009-2016. “Suits,” which starred Meghan Markle, ran on USA from 2011-2019 — so there was quite a bit of crossover.

Watch the video above.

Oprah’s interview of Markle and the prince drew a huge TV audience.

With Nielsen’s final Live + Same Day numbers now in (the TV ratings currency company takes about one day from reporting its “fast affiliate” numbers, which are generally reliable for telecasts that are not live coast to coast, to sharing its final night-of data) the Oprah interview scored 17.813 million total viewers.

Even before adjusting up a bit from Monday’s preliminary data, “Oprah With Meghan and Harry” attracted the largest primetime audience for any entertainment special since the Oscars on Feb. 9, 2020.