Actor turned filmmaker Ben Stiller gives sensitive consideration to his parents’ legacy in the artists’ profile doc “Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost,” which mainly focuses on the creative and domestic partnership of comedians and actors Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara. Ben took up the project after his father’s death in 2020, by which time his mother had already passed following a series of strokes.
Stiller alludes to other personal reasons for his wanting to make a movie about how performing as a double act affected his parents. But while Stiller touches on how he relates to his late father’s insecurities and also talks briefly with his wife Christine Taylor, from whom he separated for five years, the greater part of “Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost” concerns how Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara’s careers were shaped by their relationship.
A wealth of archival material saved by Stiller’s father, including hand-written letters and home movies, helps to paint an incisive, if guarded portrait of a family that’s still trying to understand their influence on each other’s personalities and social dynamics.
Stiller’s story begins with his parents’ formative appearances on late night television shows like “The Ed Sullivan Show,” where his mother and father’s candor and well-honed chemistry found an essential showcase. From here, Stiller begins to show parallels between himself and both parents, though he usually identifies more with his father, whom he suggests was insecure as well as a fellow perfectionist.
By contrast, Meara is often presented as an eager-to-please foil for her partner, who not only saw his wife’s talent, but also frequently incorporated her off-the-cuff and offstage remarks into their act. Stiller still takes great care to present his father as a hard-working and often caring artist and parent, even if his shortcomings also provide a recurring theme. His mother’s drinking is also brought up in a couple of scenes, but never in a damning way or at great length.
Instead, Stiller prefers to toggle between old footage of his parents and present day interviews with his own children as well as his sister Amy and, to a lesser extent, his partner Christine. Stiller also includes a number of incisive clips of him learning in real time about how his family members feel about his own career and its impact on his family, like when his sister confesses that she was very frustrated when he was becoming a star and she was still working as a waitress. In another standout scene, Ben reflexively shies away from his sister when she suggests that their father was also visibly inebriated during one of his and his wife’s television appearances.
Stiller’s affection for both parents also often comes through in his measured and wide-ranging account of his parents’ co-dependent professional success. He not only highlights a number of revealing TV interviews and private conversations with his parents, but also reads from letters, which helps to give viewers a clear understanding of how working together affected both his mother and father.
And while Stiller clearly relates more with his dad than his mom, several of the most poignant and hilarious moments in “Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost” emphasize his mother’s overwhelming charisma and comedic gifts. Stiller also seems overly protective in how he considers his parents’ desire to pursue careers separate from each other’s double act, especially when he suggests that, while neither parent found success with their own solo TV series in 1975 — the short-lived legal drama “Kate McShane” and the equally brief family sitcom “Joe and Sons,” respectively — that was actually a good thing for (and according to) both of them.
It might have made for a stronger movie if we got to see more footage from either show, but Stiller’s brief presentation is also revealing, if only for the way that it suggests another parallel with his father, whom both Amy and Ben describe as being an over-protective showbiz parent.
That said, much of “Stiller & Meara: Nothing is Lost” has a clear sense for who the filmmaker’s parents were and how their personalities came across in their performances. He does an especially fine job of showing the continuity between his father’s double act with Meara, like the sketch where she repeatedly interrupts him while also encouraging him to speak up, with his years later performance as the cantankerous and outspoken Frank Costanza on “Seinfeld.” Stiller also commendably gives his mother ample room to steal her scenes, making it hard to disagree when Ben suggests that his mother had great potential that her solo vehicles sadly didn’t showcase.
Focusing on a well-synthesized combo of TV appearances and home movies proves to be Stiller’s most consistently winning strategy. His tendency of connecting his own family’s dynamics with his parents can sometimes be frustrating, especially when he sets up a parallel and then doesn’t go far enough in considering its implications. But for the most part, “Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost” provides a warm and insightful portrait of the artist’s family both at home and at work.
“Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost” will be released on Apple TV+ on Oct. 24.
