After last week’s "Real Housewives of Atlanta" blow-up between NeNe and Sheree, Kandi finds herself between two factions of friends. Well, NeNe has only one friend, a "yes" woman by the name of Cynthia. A woman whose idea of friendship consists of a contract. A woman whose storyline is perfect for bathroom breaks and snack runs.
And she’s not the good kind of boring Lisa Wu brought. This woman’s only redeeming quality? Her husband. He will be causing drama at Kim’s baby shower next week. And for that Cynthia, we thank you.
So let’s try that again.
On this week’s episode, Kandi finds herself between the queen bees of Haterville and the hated one. Haterville is a scary place for NeNe. The residents of Haterville like to bring up her past … stripper poles, rotten teeth, repossessions, mandatory ankle bracelets.
OK, so maybe I added the last one, but Haterville must be escaped.
To get away from it all, it all being The Truth, NeNe took her very rich self to Miami for a girl’s weekend. Cynthia went, as detailed in Article XI, Title A, Section 1 of their friendship contract; she must go to all excursions out of Haterville. Kandi tentatively tagged along, and the women found themselves breast deep in the middle of Lesbian Pride Weekend.
A true girl’s weekend, the women didn’t attend any of the festivities, but the event did bring up a conversation about swimming in the lady pond, as Real Housewives executive producer Andy Cohen puts it. Kandi’s willing to take a dip, but NeNe can’t be bothered with that talk for too long because she’s house hunting — $9 million homes to be exact. She’s very rich and she’ll prove it to Haterville, whether it takes all season. Or just all of her money.
Kim is just darling as a pregnant, newly in love kept woman. It could just be her baby’s daddy (they’re now married as of last Friday), Kroy Biermann’s, likeability reflecting nicely on her, but her constant peeing is even cute. She is surprised with a 33rd birthday party attended by her closest friends, including her wig stylist, who she insist does her hair pre-delivery and possibly during labor.
Oh Kim, ever so high maintenance and still lying about your age. She has turned me into a birther. I need to see a birth certificate.
The celebration quickly turns to NeNe bashing, and the queen bees of Haterville were quite funny. So much so, Kandi joined in. Mostly just laughing, but she had a few quips. And this is Kandi’s dilemma, be a friend to the hated or cackle with the haters. I’d choose the latter, as NeNe is no longer the woman many viewers fell in love with seasons past.
Dare I say she’s let the money and fame go to her head? NeNe’s become a caricature of herself, but drama is her strong suit and we wouldn’t watch without that so carry on. I guess.
Phaedra ("I like everything about the dead — they’re so quiet”) is still trying to make her boutique funeral home happen. She met with legendary funeral home director, Willie Watkins, famous for Coretta Scott King’s home-going, and he was not convinced she’s compassionate enough. Phaedra sees dollar signs and she’s not shy about it. Death is recession proof. And while she’s still not quite sure what her felon husband does for a living, she is sure that he can drop it and help her with couture caskets.
Sheree’s life includes more than talking about NeNe. A clip with her son Kairo shows she is concerned about his father’s lack of involvement and sets us up for her dragging the deadbeat into court as the season progresses.
Most importantly, she promises a baby shower all of us will want to attend next Sunday. Until then, parroting NeNe’s excessive use of a word used to describe detractors and their dismissal: “Bye, Bye, Haters.”