If there’s one thing I love, it’s a film franchise that time forgot. They have so much to teach us. We have a tendency in this silly little industry of ours to assume if a movie makes money it must be popular, and also that if something’s popular it’ll be popular forever. Then you find out there were literally 28 live-action movies based on the newspaper comic strip “Blondie” and nobody talks about them anymore. Yes, the strip with the giant sandwiches and golfing jokes. There are more “Blondie” movies than “Star Wars” movies and “Fast and Furious” movies. Combined. You’re just going to have to learn to live with that. Nothing is cool forever, and almost everything you love will be diminished in a few decades, forgotten by everyone except historians and/or nerds.
On that note, it might come as a surprise to some film fans, young and old, that not only was there a somewhat popular sword and sorcery movie called “Deathstalker,” but it also had three sequels. Some people, it seems, couldn’t get enough of these low-budget tales about hunky medieval heroes and women who wore what can only technically be called “clothes.” One of those fans was a man called Slash, who may sound like a supporting character in a pulp fantasy movie, but is actually a famous guitar player from Guns ’n’ Roses.
Slash liked “Deathstalker” so much he produced a whole new reboot, which I’m not sure anyone but Slash actually asked for. (Although the successful Kickstarter campaign arguably proves me wrong.) Now that it’s here, I’m glad Slash is a huge Roger Corman geek. The new “Deathstalker” is a raucous blast of dweeby, monsterific, low-budget energy with more imagination than most modern blockbusters. Is it good? Only kinda. Is it exactly what it needs to be? Oh hell yes.
“Deathstalker” stars Daniel Bernhardt (“Ballerina”) as Deathstalker, and Deathstalker is an a-hole. He’s a legendary warrior in a legendary time, and when the film begins he rescues a prince from an undead monster, then robs the prince of his most valuable possession and leaves him to die. Our hero, folks. Somebody erect a statue.
Unfortunately for Deathstalker, he stole a magic amulet that everyone in the kingdom wants, and is willing to kill for. Two-headed ogres, stone warriors with laser eyes, teleporting demons with buzzsaws on chains, if it’s weird as hell, it wants to kill Deathstalker. He tries to get rid of the amulet but it’s cursed, so it keeps coming back whenever he throws it away. To end his ordeal he goes on an epic quest with a mediocre wizard named Doodad (played by Laurie Field, voiced by Patton Oswalt) and a laid back thief named Brisbayne (Christina Orjalo).
In the world of “Deathstalker” everyone’s head is barely connected to their body. I haven’t seen this many decapitations since… actually, I’ll leave that sentence unfinished. It’s a gory film but a weirdly innocent one. The violence, though bloody, is cartoon violence: outlandish and chuckleworthy. It’s like watching a “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” episode at the Filmation office Christmas party, where all the animators took a whack at turning a goofy fantasy show into a gag reel worth gagging over.
More than that, “Deathstalker” is genuinely inspired. The story may be standard “Dungeons & Dragons” fare, nobody is going to argue that, but like the original “Star Wars” it’s full of fascinating details that suggest a bigger world is just off-camera. An otherwise standard shot of Deathstalker and Doodad walking across a forest reveals, in the background, barely calling attention to itself, two Godzilla-sized monsters fighting for supremacy. Never mind why. Deathstalker wants no part of it, and we’ll never see them again. This kind of thing just happens around here. Try not to make eye contact and keep moving.
“Deathstalker” hails from writer/director Steven Kostanski. If you don’t know his name, memorize it now. Kostanski previously directed “Psycho Goreman,” a brilliant and nefarious horror comedy about an all-powerful alien warlord who — through a stroke of bad luck — becomes the unwilling servant of a young suburban girl with a mean-spirited and vivid imagination. It’s a fun premise, mined for bizarre gags, and Kostanski fills the film with creatures so inventive it boggles the mind, all brought to life via “Power Rangers”-esque practical effects.
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Those practical effects — half badass, half camp — are on full display in “Deathstalker,” a film where practically every creature is a work of wonder. The film is full of weird entities and memorable details, and although it has a retro aesthetic and is trying to look cheap, Steven Kostanski stretches his budget to the breaking point, giving “Deathstalker” a plethora of kickass images and ridiculous props. Mad props, “Deathstalker.” Literally mad props.
Again, story-wise there’s not much to “Deathstalker.” It’s functional and, mostly, funny. The characters are all archetypes and that’s very much on purpose. Daniel Bernhardt is the only actor who’s asked to do any real acting, and even that’s rare. He makes a meal of all these b-movie leftovers, imbuing the title character with a little charm and a medium amount of humor. There’s a scene where the only way to defeat a monster is to give it a brotherly hug, and it turns out Deathstalker really needed one too, and that’s adorable. He may not be complicated, but it’s a hoot to follow him around for a couple hours.
There’s a lot to love about “Deathstalker,” and all the stuff that isn’t great is by design. Which may or may not make the flaws forgivable, but I’m inclined to be kind. Steven Kostanski watched those 1980s fantasy flicks and his takeaway was potential, not to elevate the material and take it seriously, but to lean into the cheesiness and embrace “Deathstalker” for what it really is. It’s a playground for the filmmakers and audience alike, a fantastical space where anything can happen, whether it’s silly or badass or both. I hope Kostanski takes his imagination and runs with it, perhaps to another long-defunct movie franchise. I’d love to see him apply all this freaky practical VFX wizardry to a Dagwood sandwich — maybe this time, made out of actual Dagwood.
“Deathstalker” is now playing exclusively in theaters from Shout! Studios and Radial Entertainment.