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Golden Globes 2021: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Best Jokes From the Opening Monologue

Hosts opened the show from two separate coasts

Opening the show from New York and Los Angeles, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler welcomed viewers to the 2021 Golden Globes ceremony with digs at the show’s virtual format and the ongoing controversy about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s lack of diversity.

“The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is made up of around 90 international no Black journalists who attend movie junkets each year in search of a better life,” Fey said during the duo’s opening monologue. “We say around 90 because a couple of them might be ghosts,” added Poehler.

As in a usual show, the duo poked fun at the nominated movies and series, going especially hard at Sia’s controversial film “Music” and Netflix’s critically panned “Emily in Paris,” whose nomination was subject to a Los Angeles Times exposĂ© earlier this month.

Read some of Fey and Poehler’s best jokes from the opening monologue of the Golden Globes below.

“Good evening, I’m Tina Fey coming to you from the beautiful Rainbow Room in New York City where indoor dining and outdoor muggings are back.” “Yes. And I am Amy Poehler here at the Beverly Hilton District 7 New Angeles. And this is the 78th annual Hunger Games.”

“I always knew my career would end with me wandering around the Rainbow Room pretending to talk to Amy, I just thought it would be later.”

“Big blockbuster movies that came out of this year are nominated: ‘Parts of a Lady,’ ‘Irish Good Night. ‘Mauricio’s Dell,’ ‘Day Planner,’ ‘Gronk,’ ‘Ali G Goes to Chicago.'”

“And we’ll be honoring all the fantastic TV shows you binge-watched this year, the American ‘Office,’ old ‘Columbos’, very one-sided news programs, the Zoom channels about your school staying closed. And of course, the cranberry juice skateboard guy. He’s gonna skateboard all the nominated songs tonight.”

“Normally this room is full of celebrities. But tonight our audience on both coasts is made up of smoking hot first responders and essential workers. We are so grateful for the work that you do and that you’re here so that the celebrities can stay home safely. Thank you so much.”

“This front table right here usually houses the biggest stars in the world. It’s usually like Meryl Streep just hammered, can’t even remember what movie she’s there for.” “Brad Pitt’s always waving at me, and I’m like, ‘Dude, I’m working.'” “Oprah Winfrey just writing her name all over the tablecloth.” “And Quentin Tarantino crawling under the tables, just touching people’s feet.” “The point is, do whatever. Those bitches are messy.”

“The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is made up of around 90 international no Black journalists who attend movie junkets each year in search of a better life.” “We say around 90 because a couple of them might be ghosts.” “And it’s rumored that the German member is just a sausage that somebody drew a little face on.”

“At the Golden Globes, we give out awards for movies and TV. But I mean, it’s hard to tell them apart this year because movie theaters were closed, and we watched everything on our phones.” “So you may be confused which nominees count as movies and which are considered TV. TV is one that I watch five hours straight. But a movie is the one that I don’t turn on because it’s two hours. I don’t want to be in front of my TV for two hours. I want to be in front of the TV for one hour, five times.”

“I think the rule is if their fake teeth look real, that’s a movie and if their real teeth look fake, that’s TV.” “If the British actors are playing British people, it’s TV. If they’re playing Americans, it’s a movie.” “If you’re like Mario Lopez is surprisingly good in this, that’s TV.” “And if it stars Matthew McConaughey as a poetic drifter, it’s a car commercial.”

“We watch TV and movies differently. Like in movies it’s called human trafficking. But on TV, it’s called ’90 Day FiancĂ©.'”

“‘The Queen’s Gambit’ is whatever James Corden was up to in ‘The Prom,’ I guess. ‘The Prom’ came out at the perfect time because this year so many teenagers didn’t get to go to their prom so they could watch James Corden and Meryl Streep go to it instead. And that’s so fun, right?”

“‘The Trial of Chicago 7,’ I think is the best of all the Trial of Chicago movies. But it’s still not as good as ‘Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow.'”

“The thing I love about Aaron Sorkin’s writing is he can have seven men talking, but it feels like 100 men talking.”

“‘Soul’ is a beautiful Pixar animated movie where a middle-aged Black man’s soul accidentally gets knocked out of his body and into a cat. The HFPA really responded to this movie because they do have five cat members.”

“‘Emily in Paris’ is nominated for Best TV Series Musical or Comedy and I for one can’t wait to find out which it is.” “French Exit is what I did after watching the first episode of ‘Emily in Paris.'”

“I realize HFPA, maybe you guys didn’t get the memo because your workplace is the back booth of a French McDonald’s.”