Jimmy Kimmel tore Ted Cruz apart during their Blobfish Basketball Classic. Unfortunately, the scoreboard didn’t reflect that.
Though the senator from Texas ultimately beat the ABC personality 11-9 during the very long game of hoops, Kimmel certainly got his shots in — and we’re not referring to the baskets he made either.
All of the footage was saved for Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” when the late-night host summed up the contest this way: “Just like a blobfish, the game was ugly, sloppy, and within moments we were gasping for air.”
Kimmel added that the Father’s Day weekend matchup was “very rough” and “there were fouls all game long.”
“I have bruises all over my body,” Kimmel told his studio audience last night. “He kept poking me with his hooves.”
If you think that insult was bad, just wait for the in-game stuff.
“Did you spend more time this week practicing basketball than trying to get those kids out of that detention center?” Kimmel asked his opponent on-court before the ball was ever put in play.
He’d come back to that immigration policy well again, and there were plenty of other Trump cracks Cruz tried his best to ignore.
The GOP hometown boy wasn’t totally quiet on the mic himself. At one point, Cruz gave Kimmel a free jumper — but with the stipulation that if he missed it, the comedian had to convince ABC to put “Roseanne” back on the air. Kimmel nailed it (and we’ll even pretend he called the “bank” shot).
Ultimately, Kimmel may have lost the game, but he won the war through trash-talking. Oh, and he also walked away with the MVP award, somehow.
“You’re a good sport,” Kimmel said to Cruz during the trophy presentation. “I still think you’re a terrible senator.”
Watch the video above.