John Oliver returned to kick off the 11th season of “Last Week Tonight” on Sunday, and he brought a huge deal for Clarence Thomas with him. The HBO host offered the Supreme Court justice $1 million per year, plus a new motor coach, to “get the f— off” the court.
Oliver’s offer came at the end of his show, after he had spent most of his main segment dunking on Thomas for the many lavish gifts the Justice received (and subsequently did not disclose) during his tenure on the court.
In fact, Oliver even went so far as to point out that four of Thomas’ biggest benefactors, who claim they’re simply offering hospitality to a friend, didn’t actually become friends with him until several years after he was appointed to the court, “which is inherently telling.”
“Even socially inept high schoolers can figure that out,” Oliver joked. “If Brenna, Jackson and Ashton only start hanging out with you after you get a job at Cold Stone, it’s not about you, it’s about the free f—ing scoops!”
So, to finish off his season premiere, Oliver offered a “solution” to the issue that is Clarence Thomas: a gift of his own.
“Justice Thomas, we have a special offer for you tonight,” Oliver began. “We are prepared to offer you $1 million a year, for the rest of your life, if you simply agree to leave the Supreme Court immediately, and never come back. It is that simple. Just sign this contract, resign, and the money is all yours. This is not a joke”
The late night host noted that he and his team spoke to experts about this offer, and they all agreed “this is somehow legal,” and added that HBO itself is not fronting the money on the deal.
Oliver also noted that this offer is not on the table forever, but only for the next 30 days. Then, as a “deal sweetener,” Oliver added a $2 million motor coach to the pot, as Thomas is notoriously proud of the motor coach he and his wife currently own and travel in.
You can watch part of Oliver’s offer to Thomas in the video above.
Leave a Reply