Regina King opened up for the first time about her late son’s personal battle with depression in a new interview with comedian and actor Marc Maron.
The actress, who stars opposite Austin Butler in this week’s “Caught Stealing,” discussed in raw, vulnerable fashion the loss of her son during her appearance on Thursday’s episode of the “WTF with Marc Maron” podcast. King’s son, Ian Alexander Jr., died by suicide in January 2022 when he was just 26 years old.
In the years since then, King has spoken openly about her grief and feelings of loss but rarely delved publicly into her son’s struggles prior to his death. Speaking with Maron, though, King discussed not only how it felt to watch him fight his own depression but also expressed her frustration with the way the mood disorder is often depicted and discussed.
“I think one of the things that we’ve always, until recently, when a commercial or ad or something was talking about depression, it would always look like a person that presents very sad,” King observed. “I am living knowing that’s not what [it’s like]. As we’re going through Ian’s depression — and this is the first time I’m talking about it — as we were living it, it was just always so amazing how Ian still would lead with joy.”
“It’s just so irresponsible as human beings in the medical profession to present depression as something that looks like people walking around sad because that’s not only how it looks,” she added. “It’s a battle.” King noted that “only those close” to her and her family were aware of her son’s depression before his death, and she told Maron about the pain she felt watching him struggle with it.
“At one point he said, ‘Mom, I’m just so tired of talking.’ Seeing that pain in your child, who is working to beat depression — you know, whatever ‘beat depression’ is — is really … you feel helpless,” King revealed. “As a parent, you want to be able to provide help. You’re trying to, and what’s helpful for you is not helpful for the next person. When it comes to mental illness especially, unfortunately, it is like trying on clothes. ‘Does this fit?’ You’re looking for something to work.”
When asked by Maron whether or not she sees a path toward acceptance at this point in her grief, King responded, “Yes. But I still just miss him so much. There are moments that I feel Ian because I miss him so much. His physical presence. When that’s the person you talk to every day, or the person that you want to hear their [thoughts]. ‘What would your commentary be on this, Ian?’ I don’t have that, and it’s irreplaceable.”
King went on to thank Maron for creating a space in which she felt comfortable discussing her son’s journey so openly. “Honestly, Marc, thank you for making this space safe for me to talk,” she told the “WTF” host. “This was not what we were having this interview for, but I think a big part of me — just because it’s Ian, it’s my heart — we’re in this Cancel Culture [so] I have been so thoughtful to be very selective with, when I speak, who I’m speaking to.”
Earlier this month, King publicly launched her own wine brand, named MianU, in honor of her son, whom she said introduced her to orange wine for the first time. “Inspired by lan’s deep love for art, flavor and the people around him, I created a wine that celebrates the beauty of connection,” she wrote on Instagram.
You can listen to the full “WTF” interview with Regina King here.
