Stephen Colbert got his hands on Jeff Sessions’ 2016 daily planner, which reads pretty much exactly how you thought it might.
The Attorney General’s year kicked off with a (presumably) innocent meeting with the Russian ambassador, per the Thursday “Late Show” cold open. Next thing you know, they’re playing squash together.
That, of course, gave way to karaoke, some sanctions discussions, and even a joint bear-adoption. That last endeavor would come back to haunt the two politicians and fast friends — and one random drifter.
How does one put a little mauling in the rear-view mirror? Well, if you’re like Sessions, it’s with a Demi Lovato-heavy mixtape and a Pentagon sleepover. But in the meantime, don’t forget to oppose all immigration. After all, that’s kind of your main task.
Watch the video above.
In real life, Sessions has denied communication with the Russian ambassador, though a Justice Department investigation found that to be untrue.