It's hard to call Jon Cryer a victim of the Charlie Sheen debacle, considering that he also nets a tidy paycheck as a founding cast member of TV's highest-rated sitcom.
But when Charlie Sheen lashed out at Cryer earlier this week by calling him "a turncoat, a traitor, a troll," it was hard not to side with our old "Pretty in Pink" pal.
Also read: Charlie Sheen Rips Jon Cryer
So, Thursday night, when Cryer hit "Conan" to defend himself against Sheen's vicious attacks, we expected a tirade not unlike Duckie fuming about the object of his unwanted affection dating some douche named Blane. Instead, we got a somber confession.
"I am a troll," deadpanned Cryer, before going on to out fellow trolls Paul Giamatti, Helen Mirren and Andy Richter.
Enjoy the video: