Stephen Colbert was so shocked that Donald Trump is trying to invite Vladimir Putin to the White House, he staged an intervention on “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert.”
During his opening monologue Thursday, Colbert addressed Trump’s tweet in the wake of his Helsinki meeting with Putin in which Trump doubled down on supporting Russia.
Colbert spit out coffee on hearing the mention of a “second meeting” between Trump and Putin — even though he didn’t even have a coffee mug at the start of the monologue.
“Second meeting?! Second meeting — because the first one went so well,” Colbert joked. “But you know, that’s kind of vague, ‘second meeting,’ could happen, could not happen. Where would he even meet with a universally condemned war criminal strongman who personally ordered the attack on our election?”
“The Late Show” then played another clip that mentioned White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ tweet about Trump inviting Putin to Washington.
In Helsinki, @POTUS agreed to ongoing working level dialogue between the two security council staffs. President Trump asked @Ambjohnbolton to invite President Putin to Washington in the fall and those discussions are already underway.
— Kayleigh McEnany 45 Archived (@PressSec45) July 19, 2018
That caused Colbert to spit out coffee a second time.
“He’s inviting him to Washington!” Colbert said. “Nothing could have gone worse than your meeting in Helsinki. It embarrassed our country, it enraged our allies, it strongly reinforced the idea that Putin’s got something on you, and it’s the first time your party turned against you even a little.”
Next, Colbert discussed a deal Putin offered to Trump in which Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller’s team would get to watch Russian interrogations of the 12 Russian operatives recently indicted in the Mueller probe. In exchange, Russia would also get to interrogate the former U.S. ambassador to Moscow. The deal has been widely criticized by just about everyone — except Trump.
“So we know Trump is in Putin’s pocket, but the reason remains, why? There’s only two possible answers: Either Putin has something on him, or he’s an idiot,” Colbert joked. “And there’s plenty of proof on both sides. He does everything Putin asks for, but on the other hand, he can’t spell, he confused HIV with HPV, he doesn’t understand why we fought the Civil War, and just take a look of a picture of the president playing in a big truck.
“Whether he knows it or not, it’s clear Trump cannot stop cozying up to Putin. That’s why today we’re holding an intervention,” Colbert continued.
Turning to the camera, Colbert pulled out a slip of paper to help guide him through his emotional plea to “help” Trump break his addiction to Putin. Addressing the camera, he jokingly thanked Trump for coming to the intervention.
“Your friend Vladimir, he’s not really your friend, okay? You’re doing what he wants because you think it’s fun, but what you don’t realize is, if you ever step out of line, he’s going to show the world you’re a big dirty clown who loves the pee-pee,” Colbert said, referencing the supposed kompromat dossier and “pee tape” Russia reportedly has on Trump. “So instead of sucking up to dictators, we want you to find a safer hobby, like volcano parkour, or shark dentistry, or heroin. We’ve got a facility waiting for you. You can go there any time, and we’ll pay for it. Paul Manafort’s already there.”