Donald Trump hosted a post-verdict press conference riddled with inaccuracies and lies on Friday, an event Jimmy Kimmel devoted that night’s monologue to eviscerating. Kimmel noted that “MAGA Theresa himself” made a point to hold “a doozy of a press conference this morning at Trump Tower” where he took no questions, much like “the drunken best man at a wedding you know isn’t going to work.”
Kimmel proceeded to respond to a series of claims made by Trump, many of which became wilder and wilder as the press conference went on. In response to Trump’s warning that “if they can do this to me, they can do this to anyone,” Kimmel asked, “Do what? Your hair? Is that— you should get your lawyers on whoever did that to you.”
“But in a way, he’s right,” Kimmel continued. “They can do this to anyone! They can do this to anyone who cheats on his wife with a porn star — and then falsifies business records to keep her quiet so he can win a presidential election.”
At the press conference, Trump also warned, “They want to raise your taxes by four times” and “they want to stop you from having cars.” The latter charge drew a particularly strong bout of amusement from Kimmel, who commented, “That’s right! It’s going to be like the Flintstones, folks. You’ll have to use your own feet to go places!”
Trump attempted to revert to his previous story that Stormy Daniels — who received a payment of $130,000 to stay quiet about an affair the pair had — made up the entire thing. Kimmel was incredulous.
“You know what she did. Stormy Daniels? She went back in time, she snuck into his hotel room, she took all her clothes off and she slipped in underneath him while he was napping — to prevent him from one day being president!” he continued. “It’s diabolical! This woman — I’m going to tell you something. She’s an evil genius!”
Trump also insisted that there was never a hush money payment made to Daniels — it was simply a “totally legal, totally common” non-disclosure agreement that “everyone” has. A delighted Kimmel responded, “You guys have them! My grandmother had dozens of them! She would— she’d give them out for Halloween!”
Kimmel later reviewed several predictions Trump made ahead of the 2020 election for what would happen if Joe Biden won. Among other things, Trump said there would be “no school, no graduations, no weddings” and “no Thanksgiving, no Easter, no Christmas.” As Kimmel proved with clips from Biden sending holiday greetings and news reports about schools reopening after COVID-19 closures, children graduating and weddings returned to pre-pandemic levels, Trump didn’t have his facts (remotely) correct.
Watch Jimmy Kimmel’s full monologue in the video above.