Stephen Colbert is among the many people who see the settlement Fox News reached with Dominion Voting Systems as a huge disappointment. Sure, Fox has agreed to pay Dominion $787 million, but it was not required to admit any wrongdoing or apologize.
So it is that on Wednesday’s “The Late Show” that Stephen Colbert gave something to the CBS audience that neither the judge in the Dominion case nor Dominion’s army of lawyers cared to do: an apology from Fox News.
Of course, it wasn’t a real apology. Fox News hasn’t even really covered the trial or the settlement, let alone owned up to the massive volume of lies it told about the 2020 election. But fortunately, Colbert has good editors working for him, and they spliced a mea culpa together with footage from the network.
“Fox News is out a whole lot of money, but they’re not telling their viewers any of that, and they don’t have to because this settlement does not force them to own up to the damage they did to our country or apologize on their network,” Colbert said during his monologue.
“We feel the same way,” Colbert said over loud booing from the audience. “So we’ve decided to make them apologize on our network.” Cue the video which, as we said, was an apology spliced together from various Fox News shows.
Here’s the text of that apology — we’ve split it up to accurately recreate the way it played as spliced-together clips:
“Before we go tonight, we wanna say/we’re sorry/to Dominion/and to the American people.”
“We here at Fox News/lied to you about/the 2020 election/repeatedly and consistently.”
“We admit that we are guilty/of amplifying those voices.”
“Insane people like this guy.”
“Hello, I’m Mike Lindell.”
“A guy like this is given a platform/because we wanna make sure/you’re watching Fox News/and we’ll make you dumber.”
“My original, my slippers are back in stock.”
“Please/take us off/television before we/allow these crooks/to turn our country into/dumps, big, massive dumps.”
“Well, we’ve done our part now,” Colbert joked after the video ended.
Watch the whole clip above now.