Fallon Jokes Trump Is Really ‘Auditioning to Be the Next John Wick’ After Promise of ‘Retribution’ at CPAC (Video)

“He’s like, ‘I’m the captain now, I am the one who knocks, I am the walrus. Coo-coo-ca-choo’,” the “Tonight Show” host quips

“The Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon teased former president Donald Trump for making “some pretty intense promises” during his speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Saturday.

During his speech, Trump said that he was his supporters “warrior,” “justice” and “retribution” for those who have been “wrong and betrayed.”

“He’s either running for president or auditioning to be the next John Wick,” Fallon joked. “He was like, ‘I am your retribution,’ and then he kind of went off the rails after that. He’s like, ‘I’m the captain now, I am the one who knocks, I am the walrus. Coo-coo-ca-choo’.”

Fallon then displayed a picture of a nearly empty room at CPAC, noting that it “didn’t look like too many people showed up” for Trump’s speech.

“There’s more people seated at LaGuardia for flights to Moscow right now,” Fallon teased. “It was so empty, the guy started vacuuming because he thought the event was over.”

Fallon also poked fun at several slip-ups made by Trump during his nearly two-hour speech, including when he said the “United Straights of America.”

“Mike Pence heard ‘United Straights’ and was like, ‘Hey, that’s my campaign slogan,’” Fallon said. “How do you mispronounce a word that’s in the job title you’re trying to get? That’s like going to a job interview and being like, ‘I would make a great barista here at Storebucks.’”

Trump also said he’d challenge the governors of all 50 “spates.”

“All 50 spates,” Fallon replied. “From Pennessee to New Ham Sandwich.”

He also joked that Trump’s team added several visual aids to the teleprompter to help keep him focused.

In a split side-by-side with the speech, a picture of the New England Patriots logo came up when Trump describe his audience as “patriots” and a picture of Baby Yoda came up when he mentioned “illegal criminal aliens.”

Pictures of Flex Seal liquid rubber sealing coating and Sam Smith’s outfit from the 2023 BRIT Awards were also displayed when Trump talked about sealing the southern border and said he would “stop Joe Biden’s demolition of our economy with crushing inflation.”

Watch the full monologue in the video above.