Randy Rainbow creatively announced his 2023-2024 stand-up tour through a song selling why he would make a great presidential candidate, and he also told Ron DeSantis to “go get bent.”
When asked what distinguishes him from other candidates, Rainbow broke into song.
“I have always been just useless when it comes to many things like legislation, deficits and stocks,” he began. “But if you’d like a sassy head of state who also sings, the next time you’re electing one perhaps you’ll check my box.”
“If all hope is gone or every day’s a big ol’ yawn then at election time, gurl, this is what you do,” he continued. “Tell that Ron DeSantis he should go get bent and vote Randy Rainbow for President.”
The comedian also promised a solid leader who can lip-sync for his life, cook the books and give up taxes for lent, free college, call it like it is, hike up the age of consent, always do what he says, sing his pressers in theys style of Les Miz and to replace Sean Hannity with 50 Cent to name a few.
Placing a pink cap on his head with the slogan “Make America More Fabulous,” Rainbow has a few more dreams for the oval office.
“Let’s redo the White House til it’s brighter than a lighthouse and paint AirForce One so pink you’ll wanna j–z,” he added. “Every foreign trip will be a flashy event when you vote Randy Rainbow for president.”
Before starting to sing, Rainbow made it clear his intentions for this announcement.
“Listen, America is in trouble. I don’t need to tell you that,” Rainbow began in his first news appearance since the announcement on the Fake News Channel. “And it is high time that we restore some sanity to this country.”
“Now I’m not interested in all that. I’m in this strictly for the likes and the clicks,” Rainbow added. “I mean, think of what this kind of publicity could do for my career.”