Real ‘Breaking Bad': Guy Named Walter White Sentenced for Meth

Real 'Breaking Bad': Guy Named Walter White Sentenced for Meth

This holiday season, a beloved story comes magically to life

You've probably read a lot of stories about a “real-life” “Breaking Bad” in which a chemistry teacher sells methamphetamine, or a father sells meth to help his family, or someone related to a cop gets into the business.

Yeah, well nice try, other stories. This is the story of a guy who is actually named Walter White doing what Walter White did on the show.

Also read: ‘Breaking Bad's’ Walter White Gets Obituary in Albuquerque Newspaper

Click here to see the Great Falls Tribune play it totally straight as it reports that Walter White was sentenced to nine years for possession of meth for distribution, plus three-and-a-half years on weapons charges.

U.S. District Judge Donald Molloy held White responsible for the distribution of 32.5 pounds of meth, a quantity he called “extraordinary.”

Also read: ‘Breaking Bad': Vince Gilligan Shares 5 Alternate Endings

“He ended up getting shot by his son,” Molloy said. “Thirty two-and-a-half pounds of methamphetamine coupled with guns and violence is as about as serious as you can get.”

Well, maybe not. Walter White on the show sold more meth than that. Walt on the show had the middle name Hartwell, while the real Walter White had the middle name Jack.

Also: Jack was the name of the neo-Nazi whose gang Walt was mowing down with a remote-controlled machine gun when he himself was fatally shot.

Also read: Warm Yourself by the Netflix Streaming Yule Log (Video)

Also: The judge in the case has the same last name as me.

And: Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy, and Kennedy has a secretary named Lincoln.

And the editor who assigned this story has the middle name Lincoln.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • spoilered?

    please tell me the line about the fatal shot isn't a spoiler to the end of the series – literally watched episode two this morning…

    • anon

      For real, I only just got to season 3. You'd think there would be a spoiler tag like every other goddamn thing pivotal to a story in a game/movie.

      • Pat

        The show ended 3 months ago, that ship has sailed. If you haven't watched it by now, that's not on the editors of news articles to make sure that you or others aren't spoiled going forward. It's like complaining that an article is posting the score of the Super Bowl when you haven't had a chance to watch it yet by April or May.

        • serdude1968

          So I guess Pat never heard of time shifting or using DVR's or Netflix to play catch up on a show that you are behind? “That Ship Has Sailed?” Remind me to catch him outside of a movie theater sometime, tell him the ending of a film he hasn't seen and say: “Hey the movie is over. I saw it. Here's how it ends. Oh, wait, you haven't seen it yet? Well, you should have seen it on opening night. That ship has sailed.”

          • Pat

            We're talking about something that has ended 3 months ago. If it was three days (or even three weeks), then I'd understand the need to be careful to not reveal spoilers in an article. But it's THREE months now. It's quite common knowledge by now what happened to the main character as evidenced by the thousands of magazines, articles, and even books that have been published in time for Christmas that talk about what happened to the main character.

            Nice try, it's so far beyond the “Well, you should have seen it on opening night” – more like a few weeks into the DVD release of a movie that is no longer in the theaters. Huge difference.

  • serdude1968

    Well, time to boycott anything Tim Molloy ever writes again. Maybe he doesn't know that in today's world, lots of people hear about the buzz of a show after it started and then play “catch up” watching it via Netflix or some other way. So probably hundreds of thousands of us are deeply engrossed in Season Two or Three with all the excitement and anticipation of how all the plots twists and turns will work out. And then this egotistical, selfish brat TELLS US HOW IT WILL END! I know, I know — I didn't have to read the article in the first place, but I thought it was going to be an ironic article about an odd coincidence — not one where Molloy exercises his power and basically, totally ruined the experience for me. And thousands of others. Why was it so important for Molloy to put in the comment about the ending? Did it make him feel good, like the gossip who has the “special information” that makes him feel good? He really did ruin many hours of anticipated enjoyment for me and probably hundreds of others who were foolish to ever read anything by him. I hope that the folks who run The Wrap take this comment seriously. Can we even trust The Wrap if they can keep guys like Molloy on a leash?

    • Pat

      We're talking about something that happened three months ago. It's not like it was just a few days ago. There are thousands of articles, magazine stories and even books published that break down what happened with the main character.

      Should people declare loudly at a Christmas party, “Is there anyone here who hasn't seen the ‘Breaking Bad’ ending yet? ‘Cause I'm going to be discussing it here with these two friends, and you might overhear us. Maybe you'd want to exit the room for the next 20 minutes or so.” Give me a break.

    • Pat

      Also, you came into here with links all over the place referring to ‘Breaking Bad’ alternative endings, blurbs to an obituary in the Albuquerque newspaper and commentary from actors in the show — these links were put in by editors, not the writer, so I'm sure the editors share the same views as the writer that you seem to think he's a gossip who needs to feel good. Do YOU need to feel good about besmirching the writer in this manner when YOU chose to come into here with potential spoilers all over the place?

    • Mohammed BoyLover

      If I were you I wouldn't have been reading this article in the first place, but I digress….I just got done watching Spartacus and I didn't see any spoilers! Want to know my secret? I don't go out of my way to read articles about a show that ended a long time ago, UNTIL I get done with said show. It's only common fucking sense buddy.

    • MWOLFMAN

      IDK, I just started watching the series on Netflix (Jan. 2014)based on personal recommendations, and listening to Howard Stern raving about the show, which is my media outlet. I would not hold anyone accountable at this point for leaking what happens at the end of the show. I started late, and even hearing the ending, who cares it is still an interesting show to watch from the beginning to end. My advise is don't search anything about it, if you don't want to know what happens at anytime in the series!

  • Mark Jackson

    Bruce Willis is dead the whole movie.