‘Celebrity’ Just Isn’t the Same Without Speidi

With Heidi and Spencer finally gone (for now), the spotlight was up for grabs.

Good news for you, “Jon & Kate” fans: Now you have a People cover of Jon to match your People cover of Kate.

Separated only by covers of Bristol Palin and a bikini-clad Melissa Joan Hart, it’s the closest the couple has been in months! And, for your reading pleasure, both use the media to complain about the media!

But after five consecutive Us Weekly covers, there’s only so much of that story I can stomach. Let’s get to what really matters.

I’M A CELEBRITY….GET ME OUT OF HERE!
With Heidi and Spencer finally gone (for now), the spotlight was up for grabs on Wednesday. Believe it or not, the plot didn’t change that much — in fact it STILL involved shampoo (only not of the dry variety this time).

In Speidi’s (temporary?) absence, John Salley took over the role of “crazy,” while Janice Dickinson read for the part of “sobbing spoiled brat.”

It all started when Janice wouldn’t let John borrow half a bottle of shampoo. He called her a few choice words and she completely lost it, blubbering hysterically to the confessional camera.

She did actually have a valid point, though: Does one really need a half bottle of shampoo — or even a dollop — when one doesn’t even have hair?

A contrite and tearful Salley asked forgiveness of Janice but she was not having it. It was sad, ya’ll! Big NBA guys aren’t supposed to cry.

The teams competed for food, with the men winning for the third time in a row, and Daniel Baldwin showed up to replace Speidi (and apparently make the women swoon), as we reported earlier in the week.

But how can your replace someone who just won't go away? As rumored, Spencer and Heidi were (are?) indeed still in Costa Rica begging to get back on the show after their Tuesday departure.

They appeared on camera and had some entertaining things to say, namely, that the Devil had “gotten to them,” seducing them away from the game. (You sure it wasn’t room service seducing you, guys?)

They would be allowed back in camp if they spent the night in the “Lost Chamber,” the animal-infested site of their last food challenge failure and if they were voted back in by their former cast members.

At the beginning of last night’s episode, the remaining cast members were informed that Speidi wanted to return to the camp and were given the power to determine their fate. A debate erupted with Janice rallying for their return and claiming to be the “one person in the universe who could reform Spencer.” Salley also showed admiration for Spencer, comparing him to P. Diddy. (At least I think that was supposed to be a compliment).

Oh, and in case you haven't heard, NBC’s VP of Alternative Programming (which includes reality shows), Paul Telegdy, had this to say about Speidi:

“They are everything that's wrong with America…they are insincere, lazy, entitled and they claim the devil has possessed them. What they don't realize is that they are now going to be examined and their value system utterly deconstructed. They are going to spend the night somewhere in isolation and guarded with lots of surprises…but not traditional reality [stunts]. These people really are going to bare their souls."

Ooooh, sounds like NBC is out to teach these kids a lesson! (And Telegdy is out to get more publicity for his show.) I hope the cast will choose to let them stay! Unfortunately, we won’t find out those voting results until Monday, after they’ve spent the night in the chamber.

Ugh! The producers sure know how to keep us watching!

Torrie and Patti competed against Daniel and John in a food trial and the men won yet again. It was announced that participants for next week’s food trial — a kind of Houdiniesque stunt with creepy crawlies that swim — would be voted on by America. Thank goodness! Ever since “Idol” ended, I’ve noticed that my voting finger could use a workout.

While Speidi’s fact won’t be known for a few days, the voting outcome that was available was America’s choice for elimination. As the men and Patti were safe this week, it came down to Torrie, Janice and Frangela.

Sadly, Angela V. Shelton became the first contestant to be voted off.

If you missed this week’s action, tune in to MTV Sunday at noon to catch up!

WILL FERRELL ON MAN VS. WILD
Over on a very special “Man Vs. Wild,” Will Ferrell joined Bear Grylis in the Arctic Circle for 48 hours to promote his craptastic new movie “Land Of The Lost.”

With his manly survivalist maneuvers, Mr. Ferrell secured his place at the top of my list of celebrity crushes (just inching out Conan O’Brien and Ray Romano – NOT a misprint).

The only thing missing was his “Elf” costume. It was, after all, the Arctic.

Perhaps we will be treated to another winter-themed comedy soon, as our favorite funnyman no doubt got loads of inspiration from his snowy adventures with Bear. I mean, it was mainly just the two of them trudging around on homemade snowshoes but I dare you not to laugh when he eats a deer’s eyeball!

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