(Spoiler alert: Please do not read on if you’re not caught up on “American Horror Story: Cult”)
“American Horror Story: Cult” has somehow been both the slowest burning and most action-packed season of the entire anthology, all at the same time. So it’s no wonder that we honestly have no idea what will go down when the finale airs on Tuesday.
Well, we have a few ideas, but nothing definitive. Also, they are all pretty much bummers.
Here’s every way we think “Cult” could end. Just a heads up though, this writer is pretty sure none of them are “everyone drinks the Kool-Aid.” Probably.
1. Kai kills Ally.
Kai (Evan Peters) is off the rails at this point (if you didn’t believe he was bonkers from the start). He just killed off the person he cared about most on the planet, his sister Winter (Billie Lourd), because his paranoia has gotten so bad. While Ally (Sarah Paulson) has been able to outsmart him so far, and has clearly become the only member of his cult he truly trusts, it’s very possible Kai could kill almost anyone in a fit of rage.
2. Ally kills Kai.
If Kai doesn’t get to her first, Ally could definitely jump at the opportunity to feed him an arsenic-laced Manwich. Look, by killing Ivy she proved she is basically capable of anything now and just trying to make it out of Kai’s world alive, with her son Oz in one piece. So, yeah, Kai could be bleeding at the mouth by Ally’s hand come episode’s end.
3. Beverly kills everyone.
I mean, if you were Beverly (Adina Porter), wouldn’t you? The poor broadcast journalist has been totally beaten down by Divine Ruler and his ilk, and seeing her get revenge might be even more satisfying than watching anyone else win this weird game.
4. Kai is elected president.
In a season built off the fear that was unleashed after the 2016 presidential election, it makes sense that Ryan Murphy could choose to have art imitate life to close “Cult.” Because Murphy really knows how to make scary things scarier. Unfortunately.
5. Kai goes to prison.
This theory is based off two facts: 1) at the end of the last episode Speedwagon, one of Kai’s henchmen, was seen pulling a wire out of his shirt (though we don’t know who was buggin’ the joint yet) and 2) the preview for the finale, “Great Again,” showed Kai making a phone call from what appeared to be a prison. You do the math.
6. Kai loses his freakin’ mind.
If our once-blue-haired antagonist isn’t in prison, he could be in a mental institution come the finale. After all, he had visions of Charles Manson (also portrayed by Peters), dancing in his head last week, so he’s definitely getting close to the edge. Close enough, that Ally could probably get him committed. Too bad her ex-therapist/Kai’s big brother, Rudy (Cheyenne Jackson), was killed off by, well, Kai — or he could have been a big help here.
7. Ally becomes the head of the cult.
You know what? This writer is a pretty big fan of this theory. While it would probably make me sick to my stomach to see Ally take on Kai’s role (whether she’s killed him, committed him, or gotten him arrested), it would also be deliciously perfect to see Paulson go from playing a phobia-filled, nervous wreck to a powerful (but super crazy) cult leader. She’d probably be better than Kai. And by that I, of course, mean worse.
8. Oz grows up to be a cult leader.
OK, while watching Ally run the cult would be amazing, seeing her son (and Kai’s totally-not son) take the reins would be downright horrifying. But, it is “AHS,” so Kai and Ally becoming a weird couple of sorts, who raise Oz to become the leader of the group, may be the happiest ending we can hope for. God, that’s bleak.
The “American Horror Story: Cult” finale airs Tuesday at 10/9c on FX.