We've Got Hollywood Covered

Mike Huckabee Offers a Corny Solution to the Nation’s Toilet Paper Shortage

One word: ouch

Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee has an a-maize-ing, quick fix to all your toilet paper needs, should you run short during the coronavirus “stay at home” orders beginning to sweep the nation. But his suggestion, it’s a rough one.

“Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob!” he shared on Twitter Friday. “The corn isn’t important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don’t flush them!) You’re welcome!”

Um, yes, thanks, Mike.

As you can probably guess, the jokes rolled in fast and furiously on Twitter, from one user calling him “Kernel Huckabee Sanders” to another saying “America does not need this imagery,” to many, many others commenting about that corn cob and where he can put it.

But others got serious, slamming Sanders for his attempt to make light of a situation during a time when thousands are facing illness and, for some, even death.

For one, @stillirise1963, who wrote, “People are DYING. WTF is wrong with you.”

Toilet paper has been a high-in-demand item in the markets amid the coronavirus outbreak, as people fear that stores will close and people will be left with nothing to, you know, wipe up. Panicked shoppers have cleared the shelves of Charmin, Angel Soft, Cottenelle and the others, buying up dozens and dozens of rolls at a time. In Coral Springs, Florida, people offered free toilet paper to passerbyers on the road, holding up signs in the street that read, “We got your butt covered.”

And just in case you’re not sure if your opportunities to squeeze your Charmin are running out, a calculator online offers an e-tool to figure out just how long each roll with last. Phew. Thank goodness for that, huh?