In the latest edition of his “Who’s Attacking Me Now?” series, host Stephen Colbert is none too happy with the company that runs the largest search engine.
“I come to you tonight a troubled man,” Colbert said. “You see, in these dark times, we cling to our sacred institutions — the church… the family… the Google.”
“For today,” he continues, “I found an error on the Internet. And today, it was about me,” as a series of “Ohhhh’s” and “Ahhhh’s” fall over the crowd.
“You see folks… when I Googled myself this afternoon — as I do every day at 3 sharp. I have a full fibrous lunch, go to the bathroom, and then Google myself until I come out… Folks I was horrified to learn that the Google celebrity profile of me lists my height as 5’10”! 5’10”?! What is that measured in? Head dares?! Because it sure isn’t in feet and inches Google. I’m 5’11”!”
He then points out a number of other celebrities — including Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe — that are also in the 5’11” club. And then those that are in the 5’10” club (Matt Damon, Johnny Depp) that he wants nothing to do with.
Oh, but behold — Google co-founder Larry Page is listed as 5’11” in his celebrity profile.
Will Colbert sue Google over this egregious error?
And what does Colbert leave Page with as a reminder that in fact, his true height is indeed 5’11”.
Watch the clip above from Wednesday night’s “Colbert Rebort” to find out.