Porn star Stormy Daniel’s 2011 interview with In Touch — in which the starlet says she had an affair with pre-President Donald Trump back in the mid-2000s — was released on Friday, and several details immediately jump out.
And no, not that she says she had an affair with Trump shortly after he married Melania.
From sharks to Ben Roethlisberger, here are eight things to know if you don’t feel like reading the full 5,000 word transcript.
Trump is no Fabio
His doctor might’ve just said he’s in “excellent health,” yet apparently President Trump is no match compared to a blonde 6-foot-3 Italian model. Daniels saying sex with Trump was “textbook generic” has been making the rounds on social media, but the real line was: “He wasn’t like Fabio or anything.” Then again, who is?
Daniels did give Trump a mild endorsement, though, saying the deed “wasn’t bad” for a guy that was in his early sixties at the time.
His hair is like Samson
When Daniels teased Trump about his infamous orange mop, his rationale for not changing it was Samson-esque. “He said that he thought that if he cut his hair or changed it, that he would lose his power and his wealth,” said Daniels. “And I laughed hysterically at him.”
Billionaires have bad pickup lines, too
All the money in the world can’t buy you suaveness. Check out this masterclass in bad compliments, which is something you’d expect to hear from a bad Bumble date, not a business maven.
“He kept rubbing my leg and was like, ‘You know, you’re so beautiful. I love your little nose, it’s like a little beet.’ I go, ‘Did you say a beet? Like, what the f—?’ I started giving him a hard time about it,” said Daniels. “And he goes, ‘No, no, no, no! It’s majestic. It’s a very smart nose, like an eagle.'”
Having a “smart nose” doesn’t look like an asset for adult film stars, it turns out, according to Google search trends.
He talks like an old guy
Nothing screams “President Trump was born in 1946” more than him referring to Daniels as “honeybunch” — something she says he “always” did.
Safe sex wasn’t practiced, according to Daniels. We’ll just leave it at that.
Ben Roethlisberger makes an appearance
It was an eclectic mix at the Lake Tahoe golf tournament where Trump and Daniels first hit it off at. Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, fresh off winning the Super Bowl in 2006, was there, hanging out with Trump. The night after Trump and Daniels had sex, Roethlisberger walked her back to her room following a hotel party, “because Donald told him to,” Daniels said.
Trump trashed Jenna Jameson
Porn star Jenna Jameson may have said Trump was “unbelievably respectful” when they met — but that didn’t stop him from bashing her to Daniels.
Trump had said he’d get Daniels on “The Apprentice,” but when that didn’t happen, he told her Jameson “made a fool of herself” when she appeared on his NBC show. Trump added Jameson was a “bimbo,” according to Daniels.
Stormy is just like Ivanka
Trump saw similarities between his daughter — presumably a 24-year-old Ivanka at the time — and Daniels. He told the star she was “beautiful and smart just like his daughter.”
One time only
Trump routinely called Daniels after their Lake Tahoe tryst, she said, and they hung out a few more times. But it never turned romantic again, according to Daniels. They did watch “Shark Week” together, at least. Although the POTUS revealed that he is actually scared of sharks.