Bill Maher Imagines Other Botched Movie Quotes Joe Biden Could Use to Insult People

Gag follows up on former vice president’s “lying, dog-faced pony soldier” crack

Last Updated: February 15, 2020 @ 6:39 AM

Like a lot of comedians this week, Bill Maher was greatly amused by the bizarre “lying, dog-faced pony soldier” insult that Joe Biden aimed at a New Hampshire voter ahead of that state’s primary. So he came up with a few more for the presidential candidate to use inspired not just by the insult, but by Biden’s mistaken explanation for it.

On Sunday during an appearance in New Hampshire, a woman in the audience asked the former vice president about his poor showing in the Iowa caucus fiasco. Biden asked the woman if she had ever attended a caucus and when she said she had, he responded “No you haven’t! You’re a lying, dog-faced pony soldier.”

After what seemed like half the country reacted with a collective “wait, what?” the Biden campaign team explained that the insult was actually a quote from an old John Wayne movie. However, the campaign didn’t specify which movie and no one else was able to identify it either, and with good reason: It turns out the line is actuallyfrom a Tyrone Powers movie.

So it is that at the mid-point of Friday’s episode of “Real Time,” after playing a clip of the moment, Maher said that Biden “is often quoting movie lines that don’t really exist.” And then he provided some examples. See them below (with pictures):

“Life is like a box of Ex-Lax,” a garbled reference to “Forrest Gump.”

“Luke, I am your Daddy-O,” a mangling of “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.”

“I love the smell of Ben-Gay in the morning,” a napalm-free reference to “Apocalypse Now.”

“The first rule of hair club is you do not talk about hair club,” a reference both to Biden’s hair line and to “Fight Club.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemas closer,” a nod to “The Godfather Part II.”

“You talking to me? Well speak up, why are you whispering?” offers an update on Robert De Niro’s line in “Taxi Driver.”

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna shop at this Walgreens anymore,” a reference to “Network.”

And finally, “I feel the need, the need to pee,” a double on Tom Cruise’s line in “Top Gun.”

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