Golden Globe Awards: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Best Opening Jokes (Video)

Co-hosts for the third consecutive time kept audiences laughing with timely jokes about Bill Cosby, the Sony hack and Mr. and Mrs. Clooney

Last Updated: January 11, 2015 @ 9:56 PM

This time around, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are old pros as co-hosts of the Golden Globe Awards. The 2015 ceremony marked the comedy duo’s third consecutive time presiding over the festivities, as well as their final bow leading Hollywood’s favorite party.

But the third time didn’t dull their edge at all. While they’ve never been as scathing as some other Globes hosts in teasing their fellow stars, they did open the 2015 monologue by saying, “Good evening and welcome, you bunch of despicable, spoiled, minimally-talented brats.

No topic or controversy was too hot for them to tackle as they made their way around the room and through the nominees with cracks and jokes for everyone. This year, they touched on everything from the Sony hack attack over “The Interview” and the sex-abuse scandal that has erupted around Bill Cosby.

Following are some of their best jokes.

1. Sony hack attack
“Tonight we celebrate all the great television shows that we know and love as well as all the movies that North Korea was OK with,” Fey said in the first nod to the crippling cyberattack.

2. Freedom of speech
In talking about the catalyst for the Sony attack, Poehler said, “The biggest story in Hollywood this year was when North Korea threatened an attack if Sony Pictures released ‘The Interview,’ forcing us all to pretend we wanted to see it.”

3. What big eyes you have
“One of those famous big eye paintings is on display tonight,” Poehler said in reference to the film “Big Eyes.” A quick camera cut to Emma Stone was followed by Fey’s quip, “It’s cute, but it’s creepy.”

4. Women of a certain age
“‘Boyhood’ proves that there are still great roles for women over 40 as long as you get hired when you’re under 40,” Poehler said, referring to the decade-plus filming schedule for Richard Linklater‘s awards contender.

5. Calling out Joaquin
Fey talked about Joaquin Phoenix‘ role in “Inherent Vice,” while poking fun at the outspoken actor. “Obviously he’s not here tonight because he has said publicly that awards shows are total and utter bull–” she said, before pointing him out in the audience. “Oh hey, Joaquin,” she said as he waved back gamely.

6. The life of Clooney
The co-hosts touted the genuinely impressive career achievements of the new Mrs. George Clooney, Amal Alamuddin, before laughingly adding, “So tonight her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.”

7. Pining for Chris
As it was their last time, they decided to play a game where they say who they’d rather sleep with out of two different men. But as soon as Poehler threw out Chris Pine, Fey launched herself at the microphone to select, “CHRIS PINE!” She stepped back then and said, “I’m sorry, was that too loud?”

8. Civil rights solved
“The film ‘Selma’ is about the civil rights movement that totally worked and now everything is fine,” Fey said rapidly, leading to delayed laughter from the cast of the Martin Luther King Jr. film at just how ridiculous the claim was.

9. Put the pills in the people
There was a lot of anticipation about whether or not the ladies would take a jab at Bill Cosby after all of the allegations of sexual assault have been brought against him in recent months. They saved it for the end, and even played with the potential controversy of hitting the topic as a source of comedy.

It started with a joke about “Into the Woods,” with the line, “Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby.” When the audience balked a little, Fey jumped in with a Cosby impression saying, “I put the pills in the people.” Poehler cut her off, but it wasn’t because of the topic. It was because of the impression. She drove the joke deeper into the ground with an even more elaborate impression until the uncomfortable audience had no choice but to laugh.

10. Always a bridesmaid
After spending nearly 15 minutes talking about the nominated films, Poehler said, “Finally let’s talk about television.”

But before she could even get started, Fey interrupted her. “Oh I am being told that were running out of time,” she said, “Our apologies to television.”

What were your favorite jokes of the opening monologue?