Seth Meyers hosts NBC’s “Late Night” every week, but on Sunday he got the chance to rule an even bigger stage when he hosted the 2018 Golden Globes.
Meyers had the task of hosting the show during a very, very serious time in Hollywood, as more and more sexual misconduct accusations continue to pour out each the week. Now that’s not an easy feat, but the host made it work and actually got many a laugh out of the crowd during his opening monologue.
The host walked the very fine line between making awkward jokes about Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and more men who have taken advantage of women in Hollywood and actually putting a group at ease.
Here are the best jokes from Meyers’ opening monologue, which was made in front of an audience that has been working hard to support women in the industry during a very trying time.
1. Meyers opened his monologue with probably the best one-liner the crowd will hear all night: “Good evening ladies and remaining gentleman!”
2. Meyers took took aim at how long it’s taken to even begin to drive sexual misconduct out of the industry: “It’s 2018. Marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn’t, it’s gonna be a good year!”
3. The host reminded the audience of how tonight will, hopefully, be full of only good news about the male species: “For the male nominees here tonight this is the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud. ‘Did you hear about Willem Dafoe?’ ‘Oh god no!’ He was nominated, don’t do that!’”
4. When talking about why a woman isn’t hosting during the year of the #MeToo movement, after the accusations about what Weinstein did to his victims in hotels: “They tried to get a woman to host this show, they really did. They said, ‘Hey, how’d you like to come and be judged by some of the most powerful people in Hollywood?’ And they said, ‘Hm, where is it?’ And they said, ‘It’s at a hotel.’ Long story short, I’m your host tonight.”
5. Meyers joked about his role as host not really being that important and how important Trump thinks he is: “If it’s any consolation I’m a man with absolutely no power in Hollywood. I’m not even the most powerful Seth in the room tonight. [The camera cuts to Seth Rogen]. Hey, remember when he was the guy making trouble with North Korea?”
6. The host teased that Trump hates the the Hollywood Foreign Press Association more than almost anyone else: “We’re here tonight courtesy of the Hollywood Foreign Press — a string of three words that could not be better designed to infuriate our president. Hollywood. Foreign. Press. The only name that could make his angrier is the Hillary Mexico Salad Association.”
7. On the fact that Weinstein will not be missed tonight: “Well I think it’s time to address the elephant not in the room. Harvey Weinstein isn’t here tonight because, well, I’ve heard he’s crazy and difficult to work with. But don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he’s the first person ever booed during the in memoriam.” [The audience groans]. “It’ll sound like that.”
8. On the recent ousting of Spacey following the misconduct accusations posed against him: “They’re gonna do another season of ‘House of Cards.’ Is Christopher Plummer available for that too? I hope he can do a Southern accent. Cause Kevin Spacey sure couldn’t. Oh is that too mean? To Kevin Spacey?”
9. On the likelihood “The Post” will sweep the Globes: “‘The Post’ is a movie directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep [statue is brought out] No, no not yet. We have to wait.”
10. On nepotism in Hollywood: “But everyone in this room knows that Hollywood is so much more than that. Most of the jobs on film sets are American Dream jobs. Those people aren’t there thanks to their rich dad. Except for that one PA. Every film set has at least one super connected PA who is always late and you ask, ‘What the hell his deal is — oh that’s Jeremy Paramount.’