(Spoiler alert: Please do not read on if you haven’t watched Thursday’s episode of “Grey’s Anatomy”)
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What the hell, Shonda Rhimes, we weren’t freakin’ ready for this!!!
OK, so by now “Grey’s Anatomy” fans are pretty used to getting slight heart arrhythmias every now and again — it’s part of the package deal we signed up for when we started watching this overly dramatic, addicting series but Thursday night’s episode just took it to an entirely new level.
We were just starting to get over Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey) dying an untimely death and were even a little understanding when we had to grieve through Maggie Pierce’s (Kelly McCreary) mom dying.
But this … this … THIS?!?! We needed a damn warning, a preparation kit, something!
Thursday night’s episode started off innocently enough with the usual eccentric patients which included a couple that landed in the hospital due to injuries from car sex (somehow the car shifted gears atop a cliff and the two found themselves at the bottom). Speculations started swirling around the hospital about the couple’s relationship status and how much in love they must be.
In the midst of all this, there’s a parental unit who keeps losing their child in the giant hospital because they’re too busy tending to their baby who almost choked half to death and was heroically saved by Dr. Owen Hunt (Kevin McKidd) who, by the way, just found out his presumed dead sister was actually found alive.
At this point in the episode, our stress levels are already at a pretty high level.
So then the car sex woman partner wakes up and first thing she asks the doctors is how the guy she was with is doing — sweet, right? Well, not really because then she gets upset that he wasn’t dead. Turns out, the guy kidnapped her, made her drive to a secluded area and tried to rape her — which is why she ended up stepping on the gas pedal because she wasn’t going down without a fight.
Whoa. That went from zero to one hundred real quick. Stress levels have begun to climb.
So now security is dispatched and they’re all trying to find out where that male patient is — hint: he’s with Stephanie Edwards (Jerrika Hinton) — but they can’t find him so the hospital gets put on lockdown.
Once he gets wind that the entire hospital is looking for him, he then pulls a knife on Dr. Edwards and forces her to find a way out for him. This part fails because since the hospital is on lockdown, it means the doors are locked so there’s no way in or out for either Edwards or the dangerous dude.
The two get locked in a small area of the hospital where they run into the missing child who always wanders off. Well, damn. Now there’s a child involved.
The dude is really desperate to get out of this hospital before he’s placed in custody so he decides to start a fire with some flammable liquid — just enough to make the sprinklers turn on and the doors open. Well, in a fit of heroism, Stephanie decides to pour the flammable liquid all over the guy so in a matter of seconds he gets engulfed in flames.
OK, we’re sweating now. Stress levels are at a maximum.
So Edwards runs back to the child and tries to comfort her while there’s a burning man just a few feet away from them. No big deal. Episode should be ending soon, everyone is going to be fine, everything is cool. Wrong.
The burning man gets dangerously close to some oxygen tanks which Stephanie sees and, again in a fit of heroism, decides to run towards the guy and tries to jump on top of him to shield the flames from the tanks but doesn’t get to him quite in time. So yeah, you guessed it. The tanks cause a huge explosion and now we don’t know if Stephanie Edwards is dead or not.
How are we expected to sleep tonight? Or tomorrow? Or the next day? What are we supposed to do with our lives until next Thursday?
I can’t.