Jimmy Fallon struggled to get through his jokes about the government shutdown’s near-end – because he just couldn’t stop laughing.
“After the longest shutdown in history, the government is close to reopening,” Fallon said Monday night during his opening monologue for “Tonight Show.”
That’s when he went into his bit, reading all the responses from the lawmakers involved.
“First up, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson said: ‘It’s time to reopen the government. All of this fighting is getting old, man.’ Then Congressman John Larson said: ‘Did someone say “old man”? Sorry, I thought you were talking to me. Anyway, it’s time to reopen, even though details are a little fuzzy.’”
After taking comedic jabs at Congressman John Rutherford for looking “fuzzy,” and joking about Sen. Roger Marshall for accidentally drinking, Fallon started to crack once he got to his gag about Sen. Ruben Gallego.
“And then Sen. Ruben Gallego said: ‘Did someone say “human Labubu”?’” Fallon stopped to laugh before continuing. “‘Anyway, our military needs to get paid! They’re our tip-top freedom lovers!’”
Once Fallon gets to Congressman Roger Williams, he starts to break even more.
“Then Congressman Roger Williams said: ‘Did someone someone say “stoned Paul McCartney”? Anyway, we’ve gotta be frank this time. Go team!’ And Sen. John Fetterman said: ‘Did somone say “Frankenstein with a goatee”? Anyway, it’s a scary view but let’s not be choosy.’ And Congressman Pat Harrigan said: ‘Did someone say ‘staring at you from across the Jacuzzi’?”
While attempting to finish that line, Fallon goes silent from laughing so hard as the audience howls in applause. After a few seconds, he collects himself and continues with the joke.
“Oh my God,” Fallon says, still stopping to pull himself together. “‘Anyway, it’s all so … stirring and new and awesome, like a movie!’”
“Then Congressman Mike Rowley said: ‘Did someone say, “also starting at you from across the Jacuzzi”? Anyway, there hasn’t been this much turmoil since back in the sixty-seven!’ And finally, the youngest member of Congress, Maxwell Frost said: ‘Did someone say, “6, 7?”‘”
Finally getting through it, Fallon applauded his writers.
“There you you go,” Fallon said as the crowd cheers. “Thank you. Thank was not me. That’s good writing.”
