John Oliver‘s HBO show “Last Week Tonight” remains on hiatus until 2015, but that didn’t stop Oliver and his team from throwing up a web exclusive video so the comedian could absolutely blast New Year’s Eve, a holiday he claims united all races and religions in their hatred of it.
“New Year’s Eve is like the death of a pet,” the former “Daily Show” correspondent said. “You know it’s going to happen, but somehow you’re never truly prepared for how awful it is.”
He broke it down as something that includes three of the worst things to ever happen to mankind:
- Forced interactions with strangers.
- Drunk, cold and tired.
- Having to stare at Ryan Seacrest for five solid minutes waiting for him to tell you what the time is.
And so, he offered a list of excuses that his fans could use to get out of going out and celebrating this horrific holiday, including discussing a recent cleanse or making up an illness — and a cousin to have it.
“What I’m saying is the best way to celebrate the spirit of New Year’s Eve is by lying,” Oliver explained.
“Last Week Tonight” returns Sunday, Feb. 8, 2015 on HBO.