Justin Bieber offered himself up for sacrifice to the comedy gods as the target of the annual Comedy Central roast.
With his mother and grandparents by his side and “prepared for the worst,” Bieber was greeted by a throng of photographers and reporters as he entered the Sony Studios lot on Saturday evening in Culver City, California.
Roastmaster Kevin Hart headed a dais featuring Snoop Dogg, hip-hop star Ludacris, Martha Stewart, “Saturday Night Live” rookie Pete Davidson, Natasha Leggero, Shaquille O’Neal, Comedy Central vet Jeffrey Ross, Chris D’elia and Hannibal Buress.
While the “Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber” — which referenced his ex Selena Gomez, the adorable monkey he adopted then abandoned, and endless references to the 21-year-old exploiting African-American culture — doesn’t air until March 30, here are the best jokes from the night:
1. Natasha Leggero on fellow roaster Martha Stewart: “I’m not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise.”
2. Shaquille O’Neal on Bieber’s music: “You were the fifth most-hated person in the world last year. Kim Jong-Un didn’t even rate that high — and he uses your music to torture people.”
3. Ludacris on Shaquille O’Neal: “Shaq is the first player in the NBA whose shoe size, IQ and jersey are all the same number.
4. Buress on the quality of the dais: “Y’all know it’s a shitty dais when Ludacris is the best actor on it.”
5. Davidson on
6. Leggero on her male roasters: “There is a lot of star power in here. These guys have made millions — in child support payments.”
7. D’elia on O’Neal: “People don’t realize this, but those ‘I Can’t Breathe” T-shirts were about Shaq’s last season with the Celtics.”
8. Martha Stewart on Hart’s hosting skills: “Kevin, listening to you yell your jokes for the past two hours is the hardest time I’ve ever done.”
9. Stewart on Leggero: “I do a lot of gardening, but you are without a doubt the dirtiest, used-up hoe I have ever seen.”
10. Leggero in a show-stopping joke on the brain power in the room: “Kevin has a huge Napoleon complex. Kevin, Napoleon was the leader of France. Ludacris — France is in Europe. Justin, Europe is a continent. Shaq — a continent is not a free breakfast.”
11. Martha Stewart on Bieber’s social media influence: “Justin, I’m sure it’s great to have 60 million followers on Twitter, but the only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.”
12. Snoop Dogg on
13. Jeffrey Ross on Bieber’s ex-girlfriend: “Did you break up with
The “Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber” airs Mar. 30 at 10 p.m.