Hollywood may not have gotten the 45th POTUS it wanted, but late-night TV hosts reminded their viewers life will go on. James Corden, Seth, Meyers, Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon and Conan O’Brien all offered laughs and love last night on their first shows since the presidential election results shocked the world.
“People who voted for Trump are happy today, people who voted for Hillary are disappointed,” Corden said during his turn. “But listen, no matter who you voted for, the important thing is you all got stickers.”
Later, the “Late Late Show” host’s message became far more personal and beautiful. He told the CBS audience the story of his family’s decision to move stateside almost two years ago to the day. Corden’s pep talk was quite lovely — be sure to watch his message above.
Samantha Bee blamed herself for breaking America. At least, momentarily — she soon included all white people in that one.
“What we just did was the democratic equivalent of installing an above-ground pool,” she quipped.
Watch her take here:
Stephen Colbert turned to the cosmos — and Neil deGrasse Tyson to help make some sense of it all.
The scientist helped the distraught CBS funnyman “invoke the cosmic perspective.” Unfortunately, that didn’t work. So instead, the duo just chucked a large telescope off a rooftop, cheering as it smashed all over the street. Small victories.
Watch that pre-taped segment here:
Conan O’Brien took some time on Wednesday’s show to give his TBS crowd a history lesson, explaining that we’ve been here before as a country.
“The optimist in me chooses today to be happy that we have fair and free elections at all,” he said. “In the last couple of years, I’ve traveled to a bunch of countries — Cuba, Armenia, the middle east — where the people would give anything, anything to have our system.”
He did mix in a few jokes, of course. Watch “Conan” here:
Seth Meyers, who has been terrific throughout this whole crazy cycle, maintained that momentum last night.
“Well, that was a real grab in the p—y,” he started the whole show off.
“The good news is, based on this pattern of me being wrong on every one of my Donald Trump predictions, he’s probably going to be a great f—ing president,” Meyers assured his audience.
Watch him here:
Hollywood Boulevard resident Jimmy Kimmel walked voters and viewers through the five stages of grief from his ABC stage.
For “Acceptance,” the “Man Show” alum offered this silver lining: “No matter how you feel about it, Donald Trump is the President of the United States of America — so thank God we legalized marijuana yesterday.”
Watch “Jimmy Kimmel Live” here:
Over on NBC, that other Jimmy spent his entire monologue on the election results.
Here’s a taste of his best stuff: “Republicans hope he’ll keep his promise to build a wall, and Democrats hope he’ll keep his promise not to accept the election results.”
Watch Fallon’s monologue here:
Trevor Noah opened “The Daily Show” in disbelief.
“This entire result is sort of like Trump’s hair — I know it’s real, but my mind can’t accept it,” the comic joked.
Here’s the Comedy Central host’s reaction to this whole thing: