In his TV return Monday night, “The Late Show” host Stephen Colbert mocked how President Donald Trump‘s military operation in Venezuela and arrest of dictator Nicolás Maduro flew in the face of his New Year’s resolution for 2026.
“This operation, launched just two days into the new year, came as a shock, especially since, and this is true, Trump’s New Year’s resolution was ‘peace on Earth,’” Colbert noted at the top of his Monday monologue. “Well, that didn’t last long. And as a result, neither did my resolution to switch to clear liquor.”
“Maduro is not a good guy,” the “Late Show” host continued. “He and his wife were charged with drug trafficking and narco terrorism, which lately has been a fast track to a pardon.” Colbert then pulled up the photo Trump shared of Maduro following his capture and locked onto one specific detail in the image.
“Look at that. That is shocking,” Colbert observed. “He is a ruthless dictator and they still gave him a full bottle of water — and yet I always get the little plastic cup. Do better, Delta.”
As for who will run Venezuela in Maduro’s place, a subject that has become the topic of heated debate this week, Colbert dryly predicted, “We still don’t know for sure, but chances are it’s going to come down to either Paramount or Netflix. Lot of money on the line. I’m happy with either one. I got no dog in this fight.”
You can watch Colbert’s full “Late Show” monologue yourself in the video below.
Trump has, of course, already announced that the U.S. will “run” Venezuela until the time has come that a peaceful transition of power can take place. Colbert, for his part, took major issue with that declaration.
“Oh, so this country and Venezuela. Evidently, when he says America first, he means alphabetically,” the “Late Show” host joked. “That’s crazy! He can’t run two countries at once. He can’t even run.” Colbert then called out the president for repeatedly expressing his interest in Venezuela’s oil reserves in recent days. He specifically pushed back against the president’s suggestion that Venezuela’s oil had been stolen from the U.S.
“For the record, the whole ‘stole our oil’ thing he’s referring to is Venezuela nationalizing its domestic oil industry, pushing out American companies like Exxon Mobile… in 1976,” Colbert explained. “Thank you, Donald Trump. What other wrongs of the Gerald Ford administration will you finally make right?”
“Invading a country with a mustachioed dictator and saying, ‘Don’t worry, their oil will pay for this war,’ is kind of where I got on this train 20+ years ago,” the “Late Show” host somberly concluded. “It didn’t work then and I doubt it’s going to work now, and I hope the American people don’t fall for this a second time.”
