Norm Macdonald Gives Inspiring Commencement Speech to 2014 Graduates (Video)

The comedian told this year’s graduating class a very scary fact: You will lose your keys if you jingle and jangle them over gratings

Last Updated: August 4, 2014 @ 9:36 AM

Norm Macdonald didn’t tip-toe around the hard realities of life when delivering a commencement speech to 2014 graduates.

The “Saturday Night Live” alum informed them that, yes, they will most likely lose their keys if they fiddle with them in public.

See video: Jim Carrey’s Commencement Speech Warns Students of His Own Father’s Failure

In a new Funny or Die video (above), the comedian warned bridges and balconies — but especially gratings — are black holes just waiting to swallow keys when they are inevitably dropped during frequent fiddling between finger tips.

“You are probably going to forget most of the advice you get this week. I think i have a better chance of doing some real good if I give you a single, specific bit of practical advice that has served me well,” Macdonald said. “So members of class of 2014, remember this if you remember anything. Do not fiddle with your keys over a grating.”

Also read: Emma Watson Graduates – and We Don’t Mean From Hogwart’s

Sure, the advice isn’t all that inspiring, but if stored properly in the brain, the comedian’s wise words should certainly save graduates the time and effort it takes to break into their own apartment after losing their keys to a sewer grate.