How many puns can one person fit into a six-line paragraph? Apparently quite a few.
Breaking away from the usually stuffy language used by Washington politicos, Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch sent out a dope announcement about his new medical marijuana research bill, cramming it with some of the funniest pot puns he could find.
“It’s high time to address research into medical marijuana,” Hatch said in a statement Wednesday. “Our country has experimented with a variety of state solutions without properly delving into the weeds on the effectiveness, safety, dosing, administration, and quality of medical marijuana.”
“All the while, the federal government strains to enforce regulations that sometimes do more harm than good. To be blunt, we need to remove the administrative barriers preventing legitimate research into medical marijuana, which is why I’ve decided to roll out the MEDS Act.”
Hatch went on to drop a few more double entendres:
“I urge my colleagues to join Senator Schatz and me in our joint effort to help thousands of Americans suffering from a wide-range of diseases and disorders. In a Washington at war with itself, I have high hopes that this bipartisan initiative can be a kumbaya moment for both parties.”
The bill would promote more research on the potential medical uses of marijuana by streamlining the research registration process, making marijuana more available for legitimate scientific and medical research, retaining checks to protect against diversion or abuse of the controlled marijuana substances and requiring the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) to develop and publish recommendations for good manufacturing practices for growing and producing marijuana for research, among others things.
Could we get behind it?
Yes, we cannabis!
Hooray for Holly-Weed: 19 Celebrity Stoners to Celebrate 420 With (Photos)
Hollywood stars don't shy away from being 420-friendly. Here are the biggest names in entertainment who like to roll up a blunt or hit a bong -- no matter what the date is.
Robert Mitchum
The O.G. of celebrity stoners was arrested on marijuana charges in 1948 and spent two months behind bars.
Flickr
Willie Nelson
The Red-Headed Stranger is notoriously no stranger to the green and announced that he was launching his own strain of premium weed back in 2015. We have no idea what took him that long.
Roseanne Barr
The "Roseanne" star, who smokes to alleviate her glaucoma, got into the weed biz in 2016 by investing in the dispensary Roseanne's Joint. She even famously got stoned an old episode of her show.
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Chace Crawford
The former "Gossip Girl" star gave people plenty to wag their tongues about when he was arrested for marijuana possession in 2010.
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Woody Harrelson
Might as well call him Weed-y Harrelson. Harrelson said he had given up smoking back in 2017, but he might've just traded in his bong for edibles.
Frances McDormand
When she's not appearing in awesome projects like "Fargo" and "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri," McDormand serves as a High Times cover girl.
Seth Rogen
The "Pineapple Express" actor not only knows his way around a bong, he's named names when it comes to his famous smoke-out pals.
Dave Chappelle
The comedian shocked the world when he announced that he had stopped smoking weed -- but only with black people.
Comedy Central
Jennifer Aniston
"I mean, I enjoy it once in a while. There's nothing wrong with that. Everything in moderation," Aniston has said of marijuana.
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Bill Maher
Bill Maher was a pothead long before his "Real Time" days, but in 2016 he made a case for medicinal marijuana by actually lighting up on live TV.
HBO
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From Snoop Dogg to Dawn Wells, you have friends in high places to commemorate the marijuana enthusiast’s special 420 Day
Hollywood stars don't shy away from being 420-friendly. Here are the biggest names in entertainment who like to roll up a blunt or hit a bong -- no matter what the date is.