You’d have thought that Paramount might not want me on their marketing team for the "Love Guru," considering my previous revelation of the studio’s absurd demands of journalists on the promotional press junket. But you would be wrong! Paramount has reached out to me – me, personally – to help spread the word about their summer blockbuster. They are offering me the most wonderful tools that I can embed in my site to help drive audiences to their movie, in exchange for which I might be granted … a visit to my site by Mike Myers himself! Here’s the note from Paramount’s new "online marketing manager.":
"Here’s what we have: Love Guru E-Cards (perfect for Father’s Day), Pitka’s Book Club (very similar to another famous book club), Just for Pubes (a must for your aging father) and this ridiculous bobblehead." The note goes on to mention that "Mike is checking out every site that posts something about the movie and we’d love to send him over to your site."
Now, if I do sign on to help virally market Paramount’s movie – because I am the milk of movie kindness – how do I know for sure that Mike himself has visited my site? Do I get an email? Is there a follow-up call? I need to know before I sign on. Folks, if you were wondering where the $50,000 ads in the New York Times were disappearing to – here’s the answer.