If you consider yourself a fan of competition reality TV, then you are more than likely well aware of one Parvati Shallow. Even if you’re not a connoisseur of the genre, the “Survivor” mainstay is arguably the castaway who has most permeated into the rest of popular culture.
However, despite her villainous reputation, the “Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites” winner and “Heroes vs. Villains” runner-up never really saw herself as a villain. In fact, as she details in her new memoir “Nice Girls Don’t Win: How I Burned It All Down to Claim My Power,” Shallow’s life story is a lot more nuanced than even multiple-season arcs of television can translate.
“This book is my entire life’s work. It is my memoir, from start to finish. I was born in a Hindu spiritual commune in Florida run by a guru, and that’s the blueprint of how I became Parvati from ‘Survivor’ and ‘Traitors’ and beyond,” she told TheWrap. “So we have my origin story, and it weaves in universal themes that we all experience and contend with in life. There’s love in there, there’s uncertainty in there. There’s trying to build a career and a life, there’s making a big mess of it, there’s wanting to have a baby, getting married, getting divorced, being a single mother and then going back into the world of reality TV as a single mother. There’s a re-identification as a queer person later in life, too. So I really think it’s a wild ride.”
“If you’re a fan of mine from ‘Survivor’ or if you’re a ‘Survivor’ fan, you’re going to love it,” Shallow continued. “And if you’re a person who is just interested in understanding yourself in a deeper way, you’re going to see a lot of yourself in the book because I really wrote it as a service project from my own emotional journey so that other people could feel themselves in the book as they’re reading it.”
After making the jury on “Survivor: Cook Islands” in 2006, Shallow has competed on the CBS staple three more times — most recently, as part of “Winners at War” in 2020 — and will next be seen representing America in “Australian Survivor: Australia vs. The World.” Her other notable appearances include Season 2 of “The Traitors” and Season 2 of “Deal or No Deal Island,” as well as her “Nice Girls Don’t Win” podcast with reality TV producer Amy Bean.
“I never set out to become this, so it’s really funny. I work as a life coach, and I have a lot of friends who are in their early 20s that I now consider my extended family — they come around, hang with my daughter, we do trips together — and they’re trying to figure out their life. When I was in my early 20s, when I first played ‘Survivor,’ I was a hot mess, I had no idea what I wanted to do or be,” she admitted. “I had gone to college and gotten a degree, but then I started working at this PR firm and it it was awful. I hated it, so I jumped ship and started waiting tables. ‘Survivor’ found me, this genre found me, and I sort of like bobbed and weaved my way through. It sort of feels like I spiderwebbed my way into creating this genre of career for myself without even being aware of what I was doing.”
And speaking of spiders, Shallow’s biggest accomplishment on “Survivor” is winning “Micronesia,” in which she and her all-female alliance outwitted their fellow players, ultimately earning the name the Black Widow Brigade.
“I’ve never been able to shake the Black Widow reputation. I mean, it’s less so in my day-to-day real life, but whenever I’m playing a game on television, people see me as a Black Widow. So that comes with a certain level of power and responsibility for me,” she recalled. “I didn’t identify as a villain when I was cast as a villain and that label was given to me without me stepping into it and choosing it. But once I played the villain, I realized there’s so much freedom in that role and there’s so much fun to be had in being a villain.”
“I’m grateful for having the opportunity, because it really helped to break this mold of the good girl that I was trying to be. I realized it’s too rigid of a container, that’s too tight of a container, you can’t be good all the time. No person is meant to be good all the time. I think each of us, all of us human beings, are inherently good inside, but we can be bad; we can play bad, we can be naughty,” Shallow added. “Especially in reality television and in the world of entertainment, being mischievous and naughty is what makes good television and it’s what makes these games fun. I embrace it.”
But how exactly have things changed in the nearly 20 years since her TV debut?
“‘Winners at War’ was a big moment where fans were just so excited to see the winners battle — especially me, Rob, Sandra, Tony, these big heavy-hitters back on the screen in a Battle Royale. And then COVID happened and people who’d never seen ‘Survivor’ before got to stream it back-to-back cooped up from a prison of their own, using it as an escape,” Shallow explained. “There was this big resurgence, especially for me individually, because I had experienced quite a bit of backlash at the time that my shows aired from the media and from the public and critics about my gameplay.”
“It was a different era in 2006 when I played, so there was a lot of slut shaming that occurred at that time, which I internalized and it informed my life in a pretty significant way. So when COVID happened and people started streaming, they could see my arc and they loved me — the gay community especially came out hard for me — it was really cool and so fun,” she shared. “I felt really loved and supported and seen in a way that I had not been when the show was airing in real time the first time.”
Another thing all of the above winners that Shallow listed have in common is taking part in “The Traitors” on Peacock. The Alan Cumming-hosted murder mystery show famously pulls from all networks and streamers in order to find its all-star casts, not just NBC and NBCUniversal properties.
“If networks can start to loosen their grip and see the reality contestants that have demonstrated longevity in this field — there’s a few of us who have really taken this role and been able to grow and evolve alongside the community of fans and people that are old school, people that have been watching forever and then their kids that are watching, their grandkids are watching,” Shallow said. “And it’s there. It’s a whole new landscape, the world of reality TV, than it was in 2000 when it was first created. I think it’s a brilliant move to bring people in from different networks … I think that’s really the coolest thing, where it’s less about being territorial and keeping your group closed, it’s like we can cross-promote and help all these networks and all these other shows by introducing new fans to the format.”
Up next for Shallow is “Australian Survivor: Australia vs. The World” alongside “Deal or No Deal Island” alliance member David Genat.
“What’s really cool is the timing of it all. I was asked to do ‘Australian Survivor’ last year, like early spring. I said yes to it right away because of the format and then I started watching so I knew who David was. Then I go out and play ‘Deal or No Deal’ and we worked so well together. We have like a month between ‘Deal’ and ‘Australian Survivor,’ I complete the book before I go out and play again,” she teased. “So I write my epilogue after I get home from ‘Deal or No Deal’ and then ‘Australian Survivor’ is sort of like the next continuation. It’s like, what happens next? I’m really excited for ‘Australian Survivor’ to come out, because I think the show is great and they do a really good job of editing it. They make it really cinematic and a wild ride.”
But ultimately, Shallow has one piece of advice for fans who are considering sitting down with “Nice Girls Don’t Win.”
“I think it’s going to be good medicine, like the best meal you’ve ever had,” Shallow gushed. “If people ask, ‘What would you eat if you were stranded on a desert island?’ or ‘You could only have one meal for the rest of your life?’ You should eat my book.”
“Nice Girls Don’t Win: How I Burned It All Down to Claim My Power” hits shelves Tuesday.
