Amy Poehler’s U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi refused to answer any questions and got some backup from Tina Fey’s Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem in tonight’s “Saturday Night Live” cold open.
Tonight may mark the official, 50th anniversary of “SNL,” but Poehler was all business in the night’s cold open. Parodying Bondi’s real-life Senate Judiciary Committee hearing this week, Poehler’s Attorney General kicked things off by announcing that she was “furious to be here” and followed that up by responding to all the questions directed at her with some pre-written burns.
“My name is Pam Bondi. I spell it with an ‘i’ because I ain’t gonna answer any of your questions,” Bondi told James Austin Johnson’s Chuck Grassley. “My time is valuable. The DOJ has many ongoing operations, and we’re moving like Kash Patel’s eyeballs — very quickly in multiple directions at once.” Poehler’s Bondi didn’t hold back, either, once Tommy Brennan’s Dick Durbin tried to throw some hard-hitting questions her way.
“I recognize Dick Durbin. His name sounds like something Diddy got arrested for,” Poehler’s U.S. Attorney General joked, before turning her attention to Ashley Padilla’s Amy Klobuchar. “While we’re at it, Amy Klobuchar, your a–s out here sounding like a Pokemon. ‘I choose you, Klobuchar!’”
You can watch part of tonight’s “SNL” cold open yourself in the video below.
Pam Bondi testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee pic.twitter.com/TGU9tUUBXT
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) October 12, 2025
As Poehler’s Bondi continued to deflect the Senate’s questions, Fey arrived with an assault rifle in hand to back up her fellow MAGA official. “That’s right. It’s me, Kristi. I spelled my name with an ‘i’ because that’s how I thought it was spelled,” Fey’s Homeland Security Secretary explained. “I’m the rarest type of person in Washington D.C.: a brunette that Donald Trump listens to.”
When the Senate committee told her that Democrats were even more eager to end the current government shutdown than Republicans, Fey’s Noem replied, “Ha! That makes me laugh more than the end of ‘Old Yeller.’” In response, Mikey Day’s baffled Richard Blumenthal asked, “When the dog gets shot!?!”
“Dogs don’t just get shot. Heroes shoot them,” Fey’s Noem proudly countered. “Speaking of heroes, our government agents are working without pay. Luckily, my boys at ICE don’t mind. They’re in it for the love of the game.” Fey’s Homeland Security Secretary proceeded to recite some of the recruiting questions she asks prospective ICE agents, including, “Do you need a job now?,” “Are you a big tough guy?” and “Do you take supplements that you bought at a gas station?”
If the answer to those questions is “yes,” then Fey’s Noem says, “Buckle up and slap on some Oakleys, big boy. Welcome to ICE.”
