Snooki Done Killed the Video Star

I want my Madonna, I want my Nirvana, I want my Alan Hunter …

Last Updated: February 12, 2010 @ 7:37 AM

It was with little fanfare that MTV changed its logo, hacking the "Music Television" portion off the iconic image.

This should come as no surprise to anyone, as MTV hasn’t shown a music video since the second Clinton administration. Its programming today consists of teenage mothers, silly dating shows and, its new programming sensation, "Jersey Shore." But regardless, for those of us who fondly recall going over to Jon Kasem’s house and watching "Yo! MTV Raps," this was a major event.

The Hollywood Temp Diaries could only think of one way to honor this moment — with a song.

MTV’s first video was the Buggles’ "Video Killed the Radio Star." So it only seems appropriate that the song marking this transition to "Youth-Oriented Television" (or whatever the ad sales people call it) offer a wink to the past while looking to the future.

I present to you "Snooki Done Killed the Video Star" (to the tune of "VKTRS"):

I saw you on "Jersey Shore" back in year Aught Nine
Gazing at your weave, your "tan" and big fake boobs
If I wasn’t high, I’d have changed the tube

Oh. Uh oh

There’s "The Situation" and whatsherface, J-Woww
Wearing Ed Hardy hats and Affliction skin-tight Tees
And now you’ve got me, I just have to watch and see

Oh. Uh oh
I want my Nirvana

Oh. Uh oh
I want my Alan Hunter

Snooki done killed the video star
Snooki done killed the video star

That tiny girl came and stole my songs
Uh oh. Uh oh

As you cruise the Boardwalk looking for a drunken fight
I think of Michael Jackson, Pauly Shore and Martha Quinn
And I start to wonder how we’re in the mess we’re in

Oh. Uh oh
I want my Dr. Dre

Oh. Uh oh
I want my Madonna

Snooki done killed the video star
Snooki done killed the video star

Don’t blame DJ Paulie D
He’s not macking with a Juice Head

Uh oh, uh oh
Uh oh, uh oh

Snooki done killed the video star
Snooki done killed the video star

On my couch I’ll still watch you
‘Cause there’s nothing else to do
MTV stands for nothing
The "M" is just a Memory

Snooki done killed the video star
Snooki done killed the video star

Snooki done killed the video star
That Guida done killed the video star
Snooki done killed the video star
That Guida done killed the video star

(repeat ad nauseam, then rinse)

 

BIO Temp X

Temp X is a writer, producer and a one-time stand-up comic toiling in underemployment. He is the self-anointed King of Hollywood and the mind behind the wildly popular (or so I'd like to think) blog, http://www.tempdiaries.com. The site chronicles his experiences as a temporary assistant in Hollywood. He makes $16/hr working for a CBS subsidiary, but that assignment ends in a week. He can be reached at tempx@tempdiaries.com.