Well that got awkward quick. Aubrey Plaza staged a bizarre, bloody cold open to the Film Independent Spirit Awards on Saturda, in which she and some female indie royalty attempted a ritual to spare the world of blockbuster films.
Appearing in a black cloak before an altar, Plaza assembled stars like Marisa Tomei, Marcia Gay Harden and for some reason Brian Tyree Henry as they planned to sacrifice a “virgin” — “Stranger Things” star Finn Wolfhard in this case.
“LOOK UPON ME, FOR I AM YOUR HOST,” a demonic and bloodied Plaza bellowed in the clip. And by the way, Wolfhard claims he isn’t a virgin but instead a “four-quadrant cutie.”
Plaza’s monologue was equally strange and awkward, in the best way possible. She took some shots at the hostless Oscars and also their nominees.
“Sixty percent of our director nominees are women,” Plaza boasted. But don’t get too excited, she said, that just means three women. “That’s right Uncle Jeff! We’re remaking ‘Cannonball Run’ with the cast of ‘Big Little Lies.'”
She also talked up a new award this year, “Best Last Feature,” “which many of you don’t realize you’ve already made,” Plaza said.
“No one is safe here, except for Paul Schrader,” Plaza said, referring to the veteran writer-director, nominated this year for “First Reformed.” “He cannot be stopped.”
Watch Plaza’s full cold open above.